I believe that God always send us prophets. I believe that prophecy should be respected, weighed, discerned. Never despised. I believe that the study of prophecy can be an important and weighty intellectual pursuit.

What follows has absolutely nothing to do with that.

Actually, what follows is complete nonsense that I publish here simply because it allows me to indulge my fears of the destruction that Obama will wreak on the nation and the world. In support of this point, all standards of discernment will be thrown out the window so as to use whatever prophecy, however untrustworthy or spurious, to support my thesis. Here goes.

First, this one from Daniel Pipes.

Ali ibn Abi-Talib, the seventh-century figure central to Shiite Islam, is said to have predicted when the world will end, columnist Amir Taheri points out. A “tall black man” commanding “the strongest army on earth” will take power “in the west.” He will carry “a clear sign” from the third imam, Hussein. Ali says of the tall black man: “Shiites should have no doubt that he is with us.”

Barack Hussein in Arabic means “the blessing of Hussein.” In Persian, Obama translates as “He [is] with us.” Thus does the name of the presumptive American president-elect, when combined with his physical attributes and geography, suggest that the End of Times is nigh – precisely what Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has been predicting.

“Tall Black Man”, Hussein, and a fanciful disambiguation of the Obama name? Hey I am convinced. Normally I don’t put much stock in the prophecies seventh-century Muslims, but when they reinforce my own sense of doom, face value buddy. Face value.

But if the above was not enough to convince you that Obama spelled backwards means “we are all screwed” in ancient sanskrit, then check this out. This one comes from the country of Obama’s birth, Kenya.

Johanwa Owalo, the founder of Kenya’s Nomiya Luo Church, and who among the Kenya people of the Luo religion is believed to be a prophet similar to Jesus Christ and Muhammad, and who in 1912 made this horrific prophecy about the United States:

“So far have they [the United States] strayed into wickedness in those [future] times that their destruction has been sealed by my [father]. Their great cities will burn, their crops and cattle will suffer disease and death, their children will perish from diseases never seen upon this Earth, and I reveal to you the greatest [mystery] of all as I have been allowed to see that their [the United States] destruction will come about through the vengeful hands of one of our very own sons.” [1]

See that? Our destruction comes through a Kenyan. Sure, the U.S. lost its dominance in long distance events at the Olympics to Kenyans a while ago, but this sounds even worse. The only way we can avoid this one is if Alan Keyes can prove that Obama isn’t eligible to be president before the inauguration.

Last but not least, no discussion of spurious prophecy would be complete without good ol’ Nostradamus. Well I don’t just have ordinary, yet boringly vague, Nostradamus quatrains for you, but exciting previously unknown and just discovered quatrains. Beat that.

“We have the only existing fourth edition of Nostradamus’ book Les Propheties (The Prophecies). There were thought to be only three editions published in 1558, this new edition is from 1559 and includes 20 more quatrains which have never been revealed before — that is, until now,” Professor Randell said from the archive office on Tuesday.

The professor told the Daily Squib that it is well known that some of the quatrains are open to interpretation however what he has translated from the previously unreleased manuscript will certainly “ruffle a few feathers”.

The great empire will be torn from limb,
The all-powerful one for more than four hundred years:
Great power given to the dark one from slaves come,
The Aryana will not be satisfied thereby.

Honestly, I am not even sure what this one means. However, I am sure that it is very, very bad.

As a bonus feature, here are some anagrams of Barack Hussein Obama.

  • A Caesarian Bomb Husk
  • A Cabana Hombre Ski Us
  • A Casabas Rhombi Nuke

And my personal favorite…

  • A Mascara Bubs Honkie

How can you possibly read these and not understand that we are doomed?