A startling new study from the Josephson Institute, an ethics think tank in Los Angeles, reveals that 64 percent of todayโ€™s high school students report having cheated on a test in the past year and about a third of students reported they plagiarized material from the Web and passed it off as their own, according to Fox News.

This story is truly shocking because our students are cheating like crazy and yet they still stink. U.S. students rank 29th, behind countries like Croatia, the Czech Republic, and Liechtenstein in science and math. Liechtenstein!?

At least when the New England Patriots cheated they won three freaking Super Bowls. Roger Clemens is still sporting his World Series rings. Ain’t nobody taking them away no matter how juiced up he was. Barry Bonds is still the home run king.

But America’s children are cheating and they’re losing. Bad! They are the Floyd Landis generation. You remember him, right? He juiced to win the Tour De France and he’s got nothing to show for it. That guy had more testosterone running through his veins than Bruce Banner having a bad day. And now I think the rider from Liechtenstein is officially ahead of him in the standings.

Either our children start actually studying or cheat a lot better. Dumb and incompetent is a dangerous combination. We must expect more from the next generation.

*This post is not to be taken seriously. CMR has a strong stance against cheating in school despite what Patrick’s permanent record says.