As Tuesday’s temperature low will be 18 degrees, I think we all must agree that Barack Obama just by being inaugurated has cured the planet of global warming! Hooray!

I’ve got to tell you, I didn’t think he could do it. But he’s just amazing.

And now that he’s cured the planet, now he can really focus on the most important things like raising your taxes, stripping away all limitations on abortion, and making us less safe from terrorist attacks.