I’ve worked in public relations so I know some of the rules. You know who breaks all of them? Pope Benedict XVI. I’ve got to imagine that Pope Benedict’s PR man would be pretty frustrated with him about now if he had one.
I’d imagine his message to the Pope would be something like this:
“Benny baby how’s it goin’? Fantabulous. Great great great. But I gotta’ tell you I’m getting a little concerned that you’re veering a wee bit from my recommended plan. You did get the plan, right? I gave it to one of the cardinals to forward to you. I’ll have to get his name from my assistant but he was a little old Italian cardinal with a red hat. So you can probably find him based on that.
Anyway, let’s talk Turkey. You do the whole holy thing and that’s cool but I’m a p.r. man. I know p.r. I read recently that you apologized for the sex abuse scandal. AGAIN. Benny Benny baby you’ve apologized for that already. A lot. I know you’re really into the whole “confession” thing but keep it in the little box, you know what I mean. Asking people to forgive is like swimming in the shark tank in a chum flavored bathing suit. It’s gonna’ end bloody.
Here’s the deal – when scandal hits, you apologize once and then refuse to talk about it ever again. Please simply refer all questions after that to me and I’ll just refer them back to your original apology. That’s how p.r. is handled baby.