I am going bonkers.

I am now just a few days away from the marathon for which I have been preparing for the last six months. My training is done, I can get no fitter. The hay is in the barn as they say. My running volume is now dramatically curtailed, so naturally I feel like garbage.

I did an easy 3 mile run this morning and I felt terrible. Where are the springy legs I should be feeling by now? Why do I feel so much slower than I did just a week ago? Ach!

I know this is all in my head, or mostly in my head, or maybe its not in my head and its real I am just trying to convince myself its in my head so I will feel better about not feeling better. Or something….

See what I am saying?

Anyway. I am going nuts. On a second by second basis I am alternatively convinced that I have my goal pace in the bag and that my goal pace is nothing but a pipe dream and disaster looms at mile 22. Ach.

Speaking of disaster, paranoia is now at its peak. I am petrified of rolling my ankle everywhere I walk and every little momentary pain is a major hamstring pull just beginning to reveal itself.

And the weather. Don’t get me started on the weather. I am convinced that somehow it will be the hottest day on record in Philly this Sunday and RAINING. I just know it will.

I can’t take it anymore. I just want to get this over with.

Think this is bad? Wait until I am in my Ironman taper next year.