Many people dream of the BIG WEDDING, the fairy tale ending with cake makers, dress designers, florists, jewelers, photographers and more for the low low price of a mortgage-like sum!!! But it might just be causing heartbreak, damaging society, and hurting people’s faith.
When my wife and I first were engaged, we planned to get married a full two years later so we could save money for our BIG WEDDING. She wanted the big fancy catering hall and I wanted to give it to her. I was working and she was just graduating from college so I wanted to provide that for her.
I remember that it was the remark of a Jesuit who, when I told him that we weren’t planning to be married for two years so we could save money for the wedding. He literally said, “Hey man, what does money have to do with love?”
I rolled me eyes and dismissed his comment as hippie jabbering but it stayed with me and ate at me.
May 20, 2013 at 5:15 pm
We had a modest reception at the eagles lodge or elks lodge or whatever. My father in law who had set aside a lot more, ended up just giving is a few thousand bucks to get started. Not planned, but that helped give us a good start. A few bucks in our pocket as opposed to starting out under the shadow of debt.
May 20, 2013 at 6:18 pm
When a couple comes in to start prep, I make it clear that the entire focus is on the marriage and not the wedding. The wedding is a moment in time, the marriage if for the rest of their lives. I have found that most couples get it and stop wasting tons of money on one time use things that obscure the sacraments (many catholic/catholic weddings here…ergo…matrimony with Mass) that are the focus. Big problem with co-habitation though…ask them how much they want to handicap their marriage..show them the studies..and tell them no amount of saved money undoes the damage caused by co-habitation.
May 20, 2013 at 6:47 pm
It's probably long past time for Christians to give up the big gay wedding show. C'mon now, getting married like a queen when you're a waitress is ridiculous. The whole thing is a huge excercise in vanity and expense. You don't need 1000K in flowers, you don't need caviar or soup shooters especially when your family is going to be laughing later about the nasty fish eggs and the soup in lab vials. You don't need a wedding planner or a 25K dress. Get yourself down to the mall and buy a nice dress for 100. You don't need a band or a Whitney Houston imitator. And those party favors? Your guests threw that soap and lace thing away as soon as they got home. This is all following the foolish spirit of the world.
May 20, 2013 at 9:59 pm
Thank you! Yes! Amen! Applause! The Sacrament of marriage is sacred to God, not to tellyvision reality shows.
A beautiful wedding dress for the bride, yes; a nice new business suit for the groom, check; lovely cake made by someone's mother, super. Class, dignity, sacredness, respect.