In the past week (ok, I’m a little late with this story but hey, I’ve got five needy kids who like to eat three times a day and don’t like to clean up after themselves) we’ve seen a slew of news stories about how THE BIBLE HAS BEEN PROVEN WRONG BY SCIENCE!!!

The allegation stems from a discovery that shows that Canaanites DNA lives on, despite the Bible saying the Canaanites were wiped out. One problem: the Bible specifically says that the Canaanites survived.

But let’s see some of the glee from the newspapers.

USA Today: The Bible claimed that the ancient Canaanites were wiped out according to God’s orders, but a new genetic research study reveals a different story.

The Independent: “Bible says Canaanites were wiped out by Israelites but scientists just found their descendants living in Lebanon.”

The Telegraph: “Study disproves the Bible’s suggestion that the ancient Canaanites were wiped out.”

Cosmos Magazine: “DNA vs the Bible: Israelites did not wipe out the Canaanites.”

The New York Times:

“There is a story in the Hebrew Bible that tells of God’s call for the annihilation of the Canaanites, a people who lived in what are now Jordan, Lebanon, Syria, Israel and the Palestinian territories thousands of years ago.

‘You shall not leave alive anything that breathes,’ God said in the passage. “But you shall utterly destroy them.’

But a genetic analysis published on Thursday has found that the ancient population survived that divine call for their extinction, and their descendants live in modern Lebanon.

Mind you, I’m a Catholic and therefore completely illiterate about all things Bible. (We’re not allowed to read it by order of the albino assassin monks!) But if you’re going to write a news story about the Old Testament, don’t you think you’d…I don’t know…maybe read it instead of all taking some press release at face value. But that’s really the thing. There are some accusations that are just too good to check. The journalists love this kind of story to prove to the rubes that the Bible is just a made up story for people not smart and brave enough to face reality. Har har har.

Of course, the Canaanites survived…just as the Bible says they did.

In short, how about this for a Bible quote: “And it came to pass, when Israel was strong, that they put the Canaanites under tribute, but did not completely drive them out.”

I mean, c’mon. Couldn’t these journalists even do an Edit, Find command for Canaanites before publishing the story? Or was it just too good to check?

The Federalist has a lot more on this. It’s a great site. You should read it every day after you read this one. Every day.

*subhead*Too good to check.*subhead*