Actor Liam Neeson has written a statement declaring his backing for the repeal of the eighth amendment in Ireland. In short, he believes abortion is a human right.

He released a long and windy statement that I’ll spare you from but I think this will do better. Picture Liam Neeson playing an abortionist. I think his speech to women would go something like this:

“I don’t know who you are. I know what you want. If you are looking for an abortion I can tell you, you better have money, to pay for my very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for babies. I will rip your daughter out and that’ll be the end of it. Tell your unborn child I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”

Clown.