Author matthew archbold
No Truth To The Rumor—CMR may have uncovered the identity of the journalist who attacked Pres. Busy today. Can You Impeach The President-Elect?—How do you throw a guy out of a fictional office? The Perfect Attendance of Typhoid Mary—I have… Continue Reading →
There’s absolutely no truth to the rumor that this is the journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush. And by the way, for me nothing else has proved that Iraq is a free country more than the Iraqi press… Continue Reading →
After a grueling and expensive study, CMR Laboratories (meaning my brother and I) has discovered a link between children with perfect attendance records and sicknesses that ravage entire schools. It’s no secret that recently my children all got vomitously and… Continue Reading →
Luxembourg just pushed a euthanasia bill over the protestations of their Catholic monarch, who paid the price for his opposition. According to Fox News, the very liberal parliament voted to pass a euthanasia bill. But the bill couldn’t become a… Continue Reading →
In an extraordinary display of self sacrifice, Al Gore has sucked in all the harmful greenhouse gases in the world. He’s threatening that he’ll allow himself to perish unless we all agree to take the bus to work, drive hybrids,… Continue Reading →
Retooning The Nativity—The first Christmas may not be how you pictured it! Being There Is All You Can Do—The hardest lesson of my short career in parenting. Good Kids See Santa, Naughty Ones See…—This was just too cute not to… Continue Reading →
My daughter coughed in her sleep and my eyes opened. Still dark. Sitting up already on the couch, I thought (hoped?) that it had to be nearing morning as my eyes strained unsuccessfully to make out the hands of the… Continue Reading →
A new art studio in the Philippines is prominently exhibiting a nasty picture of Pope Benedict, says BWO. It’s called “Year of the Rat.” In case you can’t make it out, at his feet are plastic rats. Get it? Ratzinger?… Continue Reading →
Somali pirates who took over an oil tanker are saying that unless they’re given millions of dollars they’ll be forced to dump everything which will destroy the Middle East economy. They are currently negotiating the settlement terms with the Saudi… Continue Reading →