Man! This is something I would pay to see. According to Reuters, a priest smashed a chair over an Italian restaurant owner’s head and two nuns went all Sonny Corleone and kicked him in the stomach while he was down.

And you want to know my reaction? Either that must have been a pretty bad confession to warrant a penance like that or this guy fell asleep during the sermon one too many times.

My main real thought was ‘What, no video?’ Guys, this is what YouTube was created for. Come on! Did nobody have a camera phone? This isn’t the kind of thing I’d imagine happens all that much so when it does someone’s got to be on the ball.

Says Reuters:

The clergyman and nuns allegedly hit and kicked the 49-year-old man in an argument over the lease on the restaurant, which is owned by the Catholic Church.

The restaurateur said he rushed to the eatery, in the village of Rutino near Salerno, in southern Italy, after hearing that the priest and nuns were causing trouble.

He told police that he got into an argument with the priest, who smashed a chair over his head. The nuns followed up by kicking him in the stomach.

Stunned passers-by were shocked to see tables and chairs being hurled around the bar and promptly called the police.

“I came down to try to calm things down but the priest hit me with a chair and I ended up on the floor. Then the two sisters started kicking me, insulting me with unrepeatable words,” the unnamed owner said in a statement.

I mean, if this were in a movie you wouldn’t believe it. Think Bells of St. Mary meets Goodfellas. Of course, Marty has to direct.

I’m being flip. A little. Because I just can’t see how something like this could happen in the way this guy is saying it. I have grave doubts about the veracity of his tale.