I had a very good and prayerful Easter Sunday with my wife and kids. I tell you this because everything else I write will seem like I wasn’t very focused on the fact that we’re celebrating that Jesus rose from the dead.
As we all know, Catholicism has a coupla’ days a year when Catholic come out in mad numbers. For some reason, Palm Sunday and Ash Wednesday are two of those days. I guess it’s because things are being given away. But I always think the Eucharist is available to Mass-goers everyday. Isn’t that enough to show up for?
But this isn’t one of those things that I complain about people who show up to Mass just a few times a year. I figure, let Ash Wednesday or Easter be the gateway holiday to bring people deeper into the faith. This is one of those where I just make a little fun of them.
As we were pulling me up into the Church parking lot, a car stopped short and tried to pull into the exit, realized his mistake, slammed on the brakes, backed up into traffic, before pulling into the entrance. And the best is that he starts honking and flipping the bird to all the other cars around him as he’s pulling into the driveway. Nice advertising for the Church, huh?
So as we all go in I notice a bunch of people sitting in the walker/wheelie section of the pews. Here’s the thing — every Sunday the big bus from the retirement community pulls up and out comes the walker/wheelie brigade and it’s pretty much known by everyone you don’t sit in those pews. But the C&E Catholics didn’t know and as you might imagine the walker/wheelies didn’t take well to this. The first woman came rolling with her walker and she just stared at the folks sitting in her spot. She didn’t seem like she was going to say anything but the second walker/wheelie didn’t take well to this. In this heavy German accent, she starts whisper yelling for them to get out. The poor C&E Catholics had no idea what to make of this. They start getting up uncertainly and then dropping back down and kinda’ looking at each other to see if they were supposed to do get up or stay there. Finally, like birds they were scattered throughout the Church by the whisper/yelling German walker wheelie.
Of course, throughout the Church you had crazy cleavage from some girls who bought dresses four sizes too small. You had cell phones going off. You had loud conversations about all sorts of things that didn’t include Jesus. Of course, you had your “And also with you’s.”
But them comes the greatest moment I’ve seen in a long time. A mother about 45 years old with a twenty something year old daughter walked in and looked around for their extended family. Upon seeing them, the mother starts walking towards them with her daughter behind her. Obviously someone had taught the mother about genuflecting before one gets in the pew but she clearly hadn’t passed on this info to daughter. So the mother stops at the pew, genuflects, and…the daughter who clearly didn’t know from genuflecting walks right on top of her mother and topples right over her. At one point her high heeled feet were over he mother’s head and she tumbled right over her and then both kicked back and had a great big laugh over it.
But you know what, they were there. Whether they were there to please a relative or just going through the motions, they were there and you can’t know what miraculous effects a Mass can have. I just hope they’re there next week. And not just so I can laugh at them.
