Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Saturday, 24 October 2026

Creative
Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

Boys Ain’t Broken Girls


As a father of four girls and one boy I’m gonna’ speak a little bit about the difference between boys and girls. That’s my resume. It’s my reason that you shouldn’t just roll your eyes and click on Simcha’s post.

It ain’t much of a resume but it’s the only one I got. The fact that it’s a little thin stops me from getting too proud. And that’s a good thing.

Anyway, can I get to the point here please?

I’ve got a buddy whose little girl is just the sweetest most darling creature you’ve ever met. And he’s got a boy. Who ain’t. I could tell you what the boy does, but I think you’d get a clearer image by my telling you what he doesn’t do. He doesn’t sit still. He doesn’t just have ants in his pants. They’re fire ants. With fleas. He doesn’t chew with his mouth closed but that’s just because the size of the thing he crammed in his mouth was bigger than his foot. He doesn’t walk. He jumps, leaps, bounds, runs, gallops or rolls. But he doesn’t walk. At least not that I’ve seen. He doesn’t talk quietly either. He seemed to have been born without the ability to modulate his voice in any way. When he’s excited about something he talks to me like h’es on the 50 yard line and I’m in the last bleacher of Giants stadium.

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