I gotta’ admit, half of me wants to be this guy when I grow up. The other half wouldn’t even let this guy on my front lawn.

Breitbart reports:

A 63-year-old American man with a hernia plunged a butter knife into his abdomen to try to fix the problem, and later put a lit cigarette in the wound, according to police.

Police found the man lying naked on the porch of his apartment in the Los Angeles suburb of Glendale in California Sunday night after his wife called to report his attempt at surgery, Glendale police spokesman Sergeant Tom Lorenz said.

“He actually impaled himself with the butter knife,” Lorenz said. “He told his wife he was frustrated with this hernia, and he didn’t want to wait any longer for the medical procedure.”

Police officers watched as the man, after pulling the knife out of his abdomen, put a lit cigarette into the wound, Lorenz said.

“I don’t know if it was an attempt to cauterize or anything,” he said….

The hospital was expected to perform the surgery to fix his hernia, Lorenz said.

That’s the ol’ American can do attitude. I love that he tried to cauterize it with a cigarette. That just adds a level to it.

In short, can you be the toughest and stupidest guy in the world at the same time? I’m thinkin’ yeah. You can.