The Rev. Michael Pflager wants you to know that he is the victim. Sure, at a recent anti-gun rally he threatened a local gun shop owner by saying “We’re gonna find you and snuff you out!”

But Rev. Pflager is really the victim, not the man he threatened. His oppressor? Why that is Chicago Archbishop Cardinal Francis George, of course. Did Cardinal George threaten Rev. Phlager? No. What the Cardinal did is issue this statement:

“publicly delivering a threat against anyone’s life betrays the civil order and is morally outrageous, especially if this threat came from a priest.”

The Reverend is understandably outraged. Why they didn’t give him a chance to lie his way out of it before issuing their intolerant statement.

“Was it upsetting to have nobody call me from the archdiocese? Yeah,” Pfleger said. “I mean, why not call me? Why not ask me?”

Before you jump to conclusions, Phlager has an air-tight defense. He claims he is just too dumb to know better.

“I’ve never, ever heard of the word snuff to mean murder,” he said. “I’ve never heard that.”

Really? You managed to get ordained and still have less than a 6th grade reading level? Impressive.No mind. Phleger is the victim, remember.

Amazingly enough, in the MSNBC report from whence cometh the aforementioned quotes, they only report that Phlager used the word ‘snuff’ without ever relaying the context in which it was used. You see, if they did that, Phlager might not seem like the victim but rather a loud mouthed priest who should have known better who was subsequently properly rebuked by his superiors. But who would want to read that story?