Being the father of five I sometimes feel that I’m getting pretty good and the whole parenting thing. But as my children are all fairly young I’m asking for help. Now, you must understand this is very difficult for me. I’d rather be lost for hours than ask for directions. I’d rather be dipped in mud and bugs than ask for help in just about anything.

But this situation has gotten out of hand. I have an eight year old in second grade and a six year old in Kindergarten and they’re just starting to make projects. Now we all have fun making them. We bond and it’s great fun and we take pride in it. My children tend to think big in these types of things so we don’t just have paper cherubs we have cardboard angels. We don’t make posters we create murals. You get the idea. And I’m all for it because I’m a little crazy and I’m secretly desperate for them to be the best in their classes. But the problem occurs when the children bring the projects home.

So now we have something quite large we all worked on together, took pride in, and laughed about AND IT’S SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR LIVING ROOM! Now I can’t tell them to put it in their room because the four girls are all in one room and there’s just no more room. I can’t put it in the boy’s room because it’s not his and let’s face it the life expectancy of a cardboard angel alone with the boy is about twenty minutes.

Now I know other parents must have dealt with this. What do you do with huge giant humongous projects…which by the way they take great considerable pride in. When company comes over the children show off their projects.

I refuse to let my home become a museum of elementary school projects. So do I throw them away when they’re sleeping, hold some kind of “letting go” ceremony, take a picture, make them throw it away? Flush it? I know some of you have been through this. What did you do? If you have any ideas I’m listening.