1) You can’t wait until they start walking and talking and then you can’t imagine why you wanted that so badly.
2) Sometimes silence from a baby is more worrisome than their crying. And you’ll find yourself touching their chest or putting your finger under their nose at 3 a.m. just to make sure they’re breathing.
3) You have to hold children down when they get their shots. Couldn’t doctors hire a thug who comes in and holds them down and then your kid could watch as you throw them out? It would be a lot less confusing to the kids if we weren’t holding them down while a strange woman plunged a sharp object into their arm and then we think a hug from us is going to make it better.