Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Sunday, 25 October 2026

Creative
Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

Hilariously Biased “News” About Ave Maria

The Miami New Times wrote an article blasting Ave Maria, the University and the town. It’s actually one of the most hilariously biased ledes I’ve ever read.

Marielena Stuart stood in the middle of a quiet street, 120 miles across the swamp from Miami, and stared down the black plastic barrel of a news camera. Behind her loomed a monstrous church, its 100-foot orange-brick façade shimmering like scales in the nighttime spotlights. Stuart glanced up at its one round window — a Cyclops’s unblinking eye gazing out over the strange, tiny town of Ave Maria — and shuddered.

And accompanying this “news” piece is this picture, which one can assume is supposed to represent the Christians living in Ave Maria.

Don’t even bother reading the rest of the piece. I made it about a thousand words in and gave up just out of boredom. There wasn’t one voice that supported anything or anyone in the college. Not one. Here’s the thing reporters and editors have to understand – if your bias is as obvious as this hatchet job, we’re not going to read you. You’ve gotta’ do a better job covering it up. Just a little.

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