Three of the dumbest paragraphs ever written in the New York Times and that is saying something.

So, Pope Benedict, all I can say is: You are crazy to mess with nuns.

The Vatican issued a stinging reprimand of American nuns this month and ordered a bishop to oversee a makeover of the organization that represents 80 percent of them. In effect, the Vatican accused the nuns of worrying too much about the poor and not enough about abortion and gay marriage.

What Bible did that come from? Jesus in the Gospels repeatedly talks about poverty and social justice, yet never explicitly mentions either abortion or homosexuality. If you look at who has more closely emulated Jesus’s life, Pope Benedict or your average nun, it’s the nun hands down.

Now, everyone here knows I heart the nuns. Nashville style and all. But LCWR nuns not so much. So Nicky would have us believe that a bunch of Reiki practicing, yoga meditating, Ellen Degeneres watching, ugly pant suits or pants with elastic waistbands wearing social workers who encourage opposition to the most fundamental teachings about faith and morality are all about the Jesus, but Pope Benedict is not.

But don’t worry, Nicky has got it all under control. They rockin’ the house with some petitions and stuff. Gonna show dat Pontiff who really the boss and stuff. The Pope will never be able to stand up to some petitions. We are sooo doomed.