This is a sad situation. And I think “Dear Abby” is making it worse.
DEAR ABBY: Before my husband and I were married, I became pregnant with his baby. We decided together that we weren’t ready for the responsibility and made the mutual decision to end the pregnancy early in the first trimester. We did marry eventually and had a baby girl a few years ago who is now in college.
My ex and I divorced many years ago because of his many affairs, including one with his best friend’s wife. I have come to believe that my ex told our daughter about our decision out of spite because I told her about the affairs when she was old enough to understand since she may have a half-sister.
Should I ask my daughter about this or let it go? It was a very private decision, and I think he is a creep for hurting her by telling her. — FURIOUS IN ILLINOIS
DEAR FURIOUS: Why do you think your ex spilled the beans to your daughter? Has she been behaving differently toward you? Why do you think she “may” have a half-sister? Are you sure it isn’t more than one — or a brother or two? The fact that you aborted a child before your daughter’s birth has nothing to do with her. If you think there is something festering between you and your daughter, my advice is to clear the air before it
Nothing to do with her that her sibling was destroyed in the womb?
I think the young generation has felt the effect of Roe in a different way than the older generation. To know that your mother aborted a sibling of yours is a big deal. But to tell a young person that has nothing to do with them is a seriously wrongheaded thought. I hope this woman doesn’t take Abby’s advice.
March 4, 2014 at 4:32 am
The piece that Rebecca wrote a few weeks ago regarding the young woman looking from help from the Church with the trauma caused by her sibling having been discarded as part of an IVF process, speaks to this issue and the damage to relationships that ensue.