There’s a lot of talk going on that Pope Francis said that dogs go to Heaven. Of course, he didn’t say it. But all I could think was yeah everyone loves dogs but do we really want dogs in Heaven? Do I want to be waking up at 6 a.m. to take my heavenly dog for a walk so he can make a mess on my cloud that I have to clean up? And you have to clean that up fast because clouds stain very quickly. Would heavenly dogs shed? Wake up the entire house every time an angel flies by your heavenly mansion?

Fortunately, I don’t have to make these sorts of decisions but if I did…let’s just say there’d be no pooper scoopers in Heaven.