Study: Rock Stars Die Early. Matt: DUH!

Rock stars are more likely than other people to die before reaching old age, says a study of more than 1,000 artists, spanning the era from Elvis Presley to rapper Eminem.

The study found they were two to three times more likely to suffer a premature death than the general population. Between 1956 and 2005 there were 100 deaths among the 1,064 musicians examined by researchers at the Centre for Public Health at Liverpool John Moores University.

The study suggested that the high death rate among older American musicians could be related to the continent’s greater appetite for reunion tours, exposing the artists for more years to an unhealthy “rock’n’roll” lifestyle. It also comically suggested that it could also be due to the poor medical outlook for impoverished American ex-pop stars who have no health insurance.

Alright. Here’s the deal. The reason rock stars die early is the same reason I would have died early if I’d had enough money to damage myself. I was too poor to die young. Early money is a problem (See Lindsey Lohan or Britney Spears.) Early money is a problem I successfully avoided. Just to be on the safe side I’m staying away from middle age money as well. I figure when I’m nice and old I’ll really come into my own. Better safe than sorry.

Maybe I’ll become a guy who does stupid studies about topics nobody cares about. Oh wait. It looks like that job is already taken.