A 34-year-old man in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu married a dog on Sunday in order to try to rid himself of a curse he believed had been placed upon him for killing two dogs, local media reported.

I hope the dog was informed of this man’s past before he tied the knot. I mean, dogs can’t exactly tie knots but metaphorically anyway.

Selva Kumar, an agricultural worker, said that when he was 18 years old, “he stoned two mating dogs to death and hung them with a rope from a nearby tree.”

Hey. Before you jump to conclusions you should’ve heard what those dogs were saying to him first.

Soon after the incident, Kumar told the Hindustan Times newspaper, his “legs and hands got paralyzed and I lost hearing in one ear. Only recently, after treatment, I have managed to become mobile and that, too, with a crutch.”

Desperate to live a normal life, Kumar turned to a local soothsayer, who said he was the victim of a canine curse placed on him by the dogs he had killed, and the only way to remove it was to marry a dog.

Now, I have to assume that the soothsayer was drinking. But also I have to assume that the second this guy left his…office?…the soothsayer was cracking up and calling his friend to tell them what he’d just done.

Kumar started looking for a dog bride immediately, eventually settling upon a 4-year-old called Selvi.

At the wedding ceremony, held in a temple and attended by some 200 guests, Selvi was dressed in a sari. The wedding reception was held at the couple’s house, where the new bride was given milk and a bun.

Hey! That’s what I gave my wife on our wedding day too!

However, Selvi later became restless and ran away. She was subsequently caught and brought back to her husband.

Hey! That’s what happened with my wife on our wedding day too!

Marriages between humans and other creatures are fairly frequent in Indian villages, and are usually intended to ward off spells and curses.

Well, did anyone think that maybe it’s not working?