Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Sunday, 25 October 2026

Creative
Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

Pro-Life To the Bottom of the Ticket

My four year old and I just voted. She actually pushed the button so she technically voted. (Is that legal?) And by the way, she voted pro-life. All the way.

We walked up to our voting place and I had a question about one candidate at the bottom of the ticket. So I asked the guy I assumed was a Republican committeman who was sitting outside handing out Republican pamphlets if a certain candidate was pro-life. I told him that I’d looked it up online and called the Republican headquarters but I didn’t get an answer. So I was asking him.

And he treated me to a look that pretty much said I was a looooooonatic. He explained to me, adopting a slow voice because I was obviously deranged, that it didn’t matter because office holders at that level don’t vote on that issue.

Oh, I said.

So I pretended to change the subject. I asked him about running for Congress. I told him I may want to run for Congress some day in the near future. I asked him should I just run for Congress right away?

No, he told me. The best thing to do is run for local township office, develop a fundraising base and gain committee support, and then run for state representative or something at the county level.

“So,” I reiterated, “running for lower office is the best way to have success eventually running for higher office?”

Yes, he said.

“That’s why it matters if these lower ticket candidates are pro-life,” I said. And I walked in. I nearly broke out in a touchdown dance on the way in but I held myself back because I’m cool like that.

So my four year old and I didn’t vote for anyone for that race. We skipped it.

Just so you know, the guy didn’t talk to us when we left. I blame the four year old. She’s the one who voted.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *