Wednesday night, Ash Wednesday, the Church was packed to overflowing with Catholics itching for ashes.
I came directly from work and was meeting my wife at the Church. I was there early and pew spots were plentiful. I picked a spot right off the aisle, second row from the back. As the Church began to fill up, pew spots were becoming harder to get. I am not usually a seat-saver but my wife has some medical issues right now and I wanted her to be able to sit. I had a little room next to me and so when a few people came up to me and asked if anyone was sitting there I said, “My wife and kids, they will be here in a minute.” Most people said “Oh, ok.” But one woman gave me a real dirty look and went to stand in the back.
As we got closer to the service beginning, and my wife still not there, this woman was stewing. About a minute before the scheduled start of the Ash service, the woman came up to me at the end of the pew and pushed me out of the way. Startled, I said “My family is sitting here,” and she growled at me “Then where are they?” I responded “They will be here in a minute.” Undaunted, she pushed me aside and sat down. My wife showed up thirty seconds later with the five kids in tow, seat-less. Nice.
After the service, on the way out of the parking lot, a speeding car so completely cut me off that I had to jam on the brakes hard enough to send my phone and laptop bag crashing to the floor. Nice.
I was short on gas so I stopped at a gas station a half a mile from the Church. Apparently I was not the only one who needed gas as the line was fairly long. I got in the queue and waited my turn.
As a car at the pump made to pull away, an SUV came in from a side entrance of the gas station and pulled right into the open spot, jumping at least 6 cars on line. The man got out of the SUV and right in the middle of his forehead–a big black smudge of ash. Nice.
I thought about giving him a piece of my mind, but then I checked myself.
You know, when we are walking around with the big black smudges on our foreheads, we loudly proclaim to the world that we follow Christ. It might be a good idea if we take a moment and check ourselves, so we don’t act like a bunch of ash-holes.
Even better, we could act like we are followers of Christ and his example, every day.
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
March 11, 2011 at 6:56 pm
I'm deeply disappointed. Not by the way people act while claiming to be Christians. I'm disappointed by the title of this post. The play on words is just inappropriate and not necessary. I know that titles are important for attracting attention, but couldn't there have been a better way to do so.
I've been following this blog for quite some time. I really enjoy reading it. But now….well I'm re-considering it.
March 11, 2011 at 7:04 pm
Join the club, I am deeply disappointed in myself almost every day.
March 11, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Tim,
Lighten up. It's a joke. Venting after a frustrating day, I am so glad he has you to smack him back in line. Oh wait, that is what all those other people were doing! Patrick, just eat more, then you will be way Holier!
March 11, 2011 at 7:12 pm
Sue
Excellent idea!!
March 11, 2011 at 7:13 pm
Yeah, Pat! You should be Ash-amed of yourself for such a bad pun.
Ashew bad punnery!
March 11, 2011 at 7:16 pm
At Christmas Eve Mass one year a whole family took our seats while we went up to Communion. We came back and found our seats taken by a long line of smug looking faces.
March 11, 2011 at 7:28 pm
I think it's clever and light-hearted, especially since you end up reminding yourself not to act like an "ash hole". I love the self-depricating humor. God give us the grace to not take ourselves too seriously.
BTW, why is Ash Wednesday the only holy day of obligation for non-Church goers? Funny…"I gotta get my ash on."
March 11, 2011 at 7:46 pm
Considering that the Father who did our Ash Wed. service can't say "sh"– he says "Sss-huh" I've been getting a giggle out of this pun already.
The body of the post reminds me of an old bumper sticker: "Jesus loves you; everyone else thinks you're a (Jerk, donkey, @$#!@.)"
March 11, 2011 at 8:08 pm
… I sort of think the pun is funny- but the real lesson here is – PLAY NICE- THE KIDS ARE WATCHING 🙂
March 11, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Its a outrage!!!!
March 11, 2011 at 8:18 pm
At last years' Ash Wednesday service my wife came out of the church to find a large dent in the front right quarter panel of our car. Seems that someone had not only left early (that's probably for a different post) they had backed into our car in their rush to leave. Meh…
March 11, 2011 at 8:20 pm
Pat, This post definitely proves that I'm the nice blogger and you're the mean one.
March 11, 2011 at 8:47 pm
I guess that's the point of that whole day – to remind us not to make ashes out of ourselves.
Matt: I think you're wiser because you're older. Patrick will get there too.
March 11, 2011 at 9:22 pm
Someone's complianing that Archbold's aren't trying to be saints in their posts, must be _____day.
Cause every Catholic blog obviously needs a G rating and bambi eyes all over the place.
March 11, 2011 at 9:39 pm
My sister asked me to take a photo of myself after Ash Wednesday Mass because… well, as she put it: "I wanna see you and your ash!"
March 11, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Patrick, I was one of those ash-holes on Thursday as my attempt to quit smoking turned me into the mean faster mentioned in today's first Mass reading. I'm giving up wine instead. I think your post is timely and biblical. Thanks!
March 11, 2011 at 9:58 pm
Christians: See how they shove one another!
March 11, 2011 at 10:12 pm
I already commented but want to say just one more thing. Last year I lost two friends one the mother of two who was addicted to Perscription Medication and OD'd and another, also a mother who was murdered by her husband. I am sick of the AWFUL AWFUL world. There is a lot of bad stuff and one thing is for sure people just need to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. One thing my husband and I look forward to everyday is an Archbold post so we can laugh our Ashes off because there needs to be more laughter. I find the blog to be REAL. Whether it's about puking banana's or fat holy people, it is real, and it is funny. Growing up in a very Catholic family, but an Irish one, there was a lot of laughter in my house! You have to be able to laugh. And if you can vent in a funny way about how mean people suck, without punching one of them, then in my book, you are holy. I am sorry some people are offended by this, but at the end of the day, I can read about ash-holes (which those people were) or I can watch a bunch of CRAP on TV that is way way more awful. And since I like to laugh, I choose Ash-holes.
March 11, 2011 at 10:37 pm
And I meant Prescription not perscription.
March 12, 2011 at 12:08 am
Oh yes Sue, you said exactly what I was thinking.
And I grew up in an irish catholic home too.
Irreverent humour was mandatory.
I could tell you how we mangled some of the prayers of the rosary, and subverted the nightly litanies when we were kids.
We had lots of creative ways of doing that ("pray for us" for example, became, weirdly enough, "Richard Dreyfus", which sounds almost exactly the same when said quickly, and mumbly enough.)
Pesky kids!