Google is such a powerful tool. Gosh, we can find out almost anything almost as quickly as you can type. Watch a commercial and you know that you know that actor from somewhere. No problem. One minute of googling tells you he had a small recurring role on Little House on The Prairie, married a girl he met on the set and had 4 kids. He now does commercials and writes children’s books. Aw, isn’t that nice?

That is the upside of google. The tool has the potential for good, but alas information giveth and information taketh away. Sometimes you are just better off not knowing things. Like the singer of a song you really like donated a million dollars to Planned Parenthood. You can never listen to that song again. You wish you never googled it.

This is what happened to me today. One of my all time favorite Christmas songs is “What Child is This?” That song, more than just about any other has always put me in the Christmas mood. When Burle Ives or the Chipmunks couldn’t get it done, “What Child Is This?” never failed me. Never. Well, that is until this Christmas.

Up until yesterday I was vaguely familiar with the song Greensleeves, but had never really though about it. That was until I saw this Snickers commercial.

How fascinating, thought I. My favorite Christmas hymn has the identical musical settings as some ol’ English ditty. Why, let me Google it to find out more about this fascinating bit o’ history. That was when the I got hit with the double whammy of Google/Wikipedia TMI. Too much information. Turns out that this beautiful, beautiful music that never failed to conjure thought of the Angelic hosts was most likely written 500 years ago about a hooker. Yes, that is right, a hooker.

Wikipedia glibly informed me that “It is widely thought that Lady Green Sleeves was a promiscuous young woman and perhaps a prostitute.[1] At the time, the word “green” had sexual connotations, most notably in the phrase “a green gown”, a reference to the way that grass stains might be seen on a lady’s dress if she had made love outside.”

Goodbye angelic hosts, goodbye Christmas, So long Santa 🙁 I hope you are happy Google. I worried I would never be able to listen to that song again without that [cursed] “information” in the back of my mind. But I decided to try. So I went to YouTube and found this lovely version by a lovely young angelic Catholic girl named Charlotte Church. Give a listen.

Isn’t that beautiful. You know, I should Google Charlotte Church to find out more about this beautiful lil’ angel.

Oh. Crud.