Wednesday night, Ash Wednesday, the Church was packed to overflowing with Catholics itching for ashes.
I came directly from work and was meeting my wife at the Church. I was there early and pew spots were plentiful. I picked a spot right off the aisle, second row from the back. As the Church began to fill up, pew spots were becoming harder to get. I am not usually a seat-saver but my wife has some medical issues right now and I wanted her to be able to sit. I had a little room next to me and so when a few people came up to me and asked if anyone was sitting there I said, “My wife and kids, they will be here in a minute.” Most people said “Oh, ok.” But one woman gave me a real dirty look and went to stand in the back.
As we got closer to the service beginning, and my wife still not there, this woman was stewing. About a minute before the scheduled start of the Ash service, the woman came up to me at the end of the pew and pushed me out of the way. Startled, I said “My family is sitting here,” and she growled at me “Then where are they?” I responded “They will be here in a minute.” Undaunted, she pushed me aside and sat down. My wife showed up thirty seconds later with the five kids in tow, seat-less. Nice.
After the service, on the way out of the parking lot, a speeding car so completely cut me off that I had to jam on the brakes hard enough to send my phone and laptop bag crashing to the floor. Nice.
I was short on gas so I stopped at a gas station a half a mile from the Church. Apparently I was not the only one who needed gas as the line was fairly long. I got in the queue and waited my turn.
As a car at the pump made to pull away, an SUV came in from a side entrance of the gas station and pulled right into the open spot, jumping at least 6 cars on line. The man got out of the SUV and right in the middle of his forehead–a big black smudge of ash. Nice.
I thought about giving him a piece of my mind, but then I checked myself.
You know, when we are walking around with the big black smudges on our foreheads, we loudly proclaim to the world that we follow Christ. It might be a good idea if we take a moment and check ourselves, so we don’t act like a bunch of ash-holes.
Even better, we could act like we are followers of Christ and his example, every day.
“By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
March 12, 2011 at 12:10 am
K, how many folks are old enough to recognize this?
*raises arms solemnly in the air, palm out* "Mmmmmyyyy fathacanbeachourfathainagameofDDddddoooooominoooooes…. Aaaaaaahmen…."
(Pre Vatican II, and so common my Scottish protestant father picked it up from the Basque and Italian kids.)
March 12, 2011 at 1:01 am
We grew up visiting the absolutely gorgeous Basilica of the National Shrine in DC, although at the time it was not a Basilica. There was a huge painting of Jesus on the ceiling behind the altar. He had his arms outstretched, but the look on his face was extremely angry. My sister used to open her arms and in an angry stern yelling voice, say, "Come to me my children, I love you." It was so so funny because of the tone of her voice. Today we are all devout Catholics, and I hope Jesus understands, we all need to laugh.
March 12, 2011 at 1:04 am
Richard Dreyfus, that's hilarious!
March 12, 2011 at 1:23 am
Oh and my mother, who is in her 70's now, told us that when she was growing up in rural Northern Ireland her bold brothers used to subvert their rosary prayers too.
With creative additions of their own, such as "Holy Mary Mother of God, tackle the ass and go to the bog".
BTW, "ass" is certainly not regarded as a bad word at all here. It just means donkey. And the bog was where you cut the peat for the fire.
I remember some mothers on a home ed list I belong to getting very upset about the incluson in some classic childrens novels of the word "ass". They were agitated that such otherwise fine books should include the use of what they saw as bad language.
I explained that over here calling "Montmorency" a silly ass was just the same as calling him a donkey.
March 12, 2011 at 1:59 am
Pat and Matt — what WERE your parents thinking?
🙂
— Mack
March 12, 2011 at 2:00 am
LOL anonymous at 8:01. Our 4 year old loves the Mad Jesus at the National Shrine. He thinks it was something the disciples did.
March 12, 2011 at 2:37 am
The Jesus at the Shrine: I caught a fish and it was THIS big!
March 12, 2011 at 3:23 am
OK. I have to defend my FAVORITE image of Jesus. Holy tough-love!
And as for the title of the post. I immediately clicked on it because I knew that there was something really profound to be learned….right?
I am a fan for lots of reasons and one of them is that you guys are so real. It's refreshing! We're grownups here. I do keep an eye in the content and don't always share it with the younger set, or those with no sense of humor, because sometimes there are things that have to be said and there is just no delicate way to say them.
March 12, 2011 at 2:17 pm
Reminds me of the time I was inline for confession at the National Shrine, long line, and someone cut in front of everyone. There were lots of grumbles, scowls, and exasperated sighs. Then someone said, "I guess she really needed to go to confession." Got a few chuckles.
March 12, 2011 at 2:19 pm
I happy that there is some place where pews are being filled to standing room only…. hasn't been that way around where I live in years. As for the questionable behavior, well as long as they are still going to hear the Word, there is hope.
March 12, 2011 at 3:56 pm
I hope it wasn't to hard for you to stand for the Mass.
March 12, 2011 at 6:08 pm
At the risk of also being told to "lighten up," I want to back up what Tim said. I thought this post was fantastic in every other respect — but the title made your message rather — ironic. You're not just wearing an ash cross on your forehead for one day of the year, you wear your Catholicism upfront and public every day of the year before a decent crowd.
I understand none of us is perfect; most of us have said something crass — or worse — in moments of anger and frustration or in the privacy of our homes, among friends with whom we are comfortable and know we won't offend. But when we have the time to think about and consider the title of a post and it's related to thoughts on Christianity and Catholicism, I honestly feel we need to keep the bar high.
More and more I am seeing very popular Catholic bloggers/writers go for the crass joke. And, then everyone in the comments section tells them how funny and great they are for being "real."
Personally, I find it really disheartening. What kind of Catholic culture when so many of us have come to consider this kind of humor as keeping it "real"?
A Young Curmudgeon
March 12, 2011 at 6:16 pm
Sheesh…some of you guys should become evangelicals ("Luke, come over to the dark side")! We set the bar pretty high when it comes to shooting our wounded! I thought the title was clever, and the message spot on. I love persons, it's people I can't stand!
Mongo
March 12, 2011 at 8:04 pm
The title is brilliant! A pun and a metonym. What better body part to use to describe our moral turpitude. And on a day of fasting: ha ha ha.
And then a guy cutting in line to get gas. While I think a Catholic cutting in any line is great news considering how people go up to communion, I commend Patrick for turning a perceived evil into a light hearted anecdote with a beautiful moral: we ought to be patient with the impatient, and not make too big a stink about things that stink.
If only those loving liberals would learn to be tolerant of the intolerant.
March 13, 2011 at 3:14 am
sometimes part of having a large family means you won't all get to sit next too each other in Church, deal with it, plenty of times we've shown up a minute late and had to scatter around to all get seats.
March 13, 2011 at 10:22 am
I happened to think it was funny but I also think we shouldn't gang up on someone offended by the pun. There are too few decent people in the world who don't swear to put them down. Tim Burke makes a legitimate point.
It still made me smile, but I'm just saying. 🙂