I think I have the laziest chickens in the world. They were 22 weeks old yesterday and still no eggs.

Let me be clear, there will be no negotiation. They start giving me eggs or I will make things as painful as possible.

What kind of message do you think a deep fryer will send?

There is no freeloading here. I have been paying for food, water, and lodging for 5 months and have nothing to show for it.

Get with the program or get with the pogrom!