Columnist: Jesus Wants Women Priests
—Two women who say they’re Roman Catholic who want to be ordained as priests and are taking part in a ceremony at a synagogue. Confused? So is the columnist.

Neighborhood Watch
—Is deceit a sin if it is for a good cause? What if it makes you laugh?

8 Year Old Twins Invent Wedgie-Proof Underwear
—What else could we say?

Downside of Stay-At-Home Dads
—Which skirt allows for the best round house kick to the undead?

Don’t Give Up On The Jesuits
—Can Georgetown Stay Catholic?

Fr. Pat Strikes Again
—How could we have trees if we didn’t have the nuts. And eat your oats to fight consumerism. Oh, and…um….cardboard is bad. All this and much more.

Priest “Comes Out” During Mass
—Priest at Jesuit University identifies himself as a homosexual during school’s ‘Unity Week.’

Tabernacle Back Where It Belongs
—Renovations at the Cathedral of St. Mary in Fargo North Dakota include moving the tabernacle back from the side altar to the center of the sanctuary and adding a communion rail.

Climb on the Offense Train
—I take offense by your being offended.

If Anglicans Reunite with Pope: Apocalypse to Follow
—If Anglicans reunite with Rome, theTrumpet says we are doomed!

Mother Angelica Branches Out
—Mother Angelica’s nuns break ground in Arizona.

Are You A Radical Progressive?
—The answer might surprise you!