The New York Times Magazine has a short essay by Chris Adrian , a pediatrician and a divinity student from Boston. Chris recently visited New York as a mental escape from a recent breakup. Bummed and in spiritual need, Chris decided that a tattoo was the answer.
But somehow this great unpleasant change in my life made me feel as if it was the right time to get the tattoo done. You have all sorts of ideas for self-improvement at such times. And I had always had a particular self-improvement purpose in mind for my tattoo: that it should serve as a visible reminder to be a better person, a symbol that, every time I saw it, would remind me that I had made a commitment to myself to be good.
Uh oh. Now as a divinity student one might think that prayer would have occurred to him as a way to fill the spiritual void and as a reminder to be better person. Alas, Mr. Adrian decided that a tat was the way to go. But what kind of tat could fill such a deep void?
The tattoo was supposed to remind me of what I tended to forget every day, to be less selfish, or less insular, to remember promises, to try to think less of my own largely imaginary suffering and devote some time and energy to considering the suffering of others. I thought of words to this effect, but words seemed too obvious, and too public; I didn’t want just anybody to read about my failings. A picture seemed like a better idea.
I thought of John Calvin, because even though I think he’s a secret softie for the beauty of creation and the potential of mankind even in a fallen state, he seemed like the sort of figure who could issue the kind of reminder I was seeking — with just his face. But then I imagined people at the beach telling me how much they liked my tattoo of Professor Dumbledore. Calvin? they would ask. Like Calvin and Hobbes?
Calvin? Really? I am quite certain that the Calvin and Hobbes tattoo would have done much more to lift his spirits than the fatalistic John Calvin. Anyway, Chris dodged that bullet and ended up with a tattoo of a dragon. A dragon to “remind me that I had made a commitment to myself to be good.”? Hmmm…Ok? Again, Calvin and Hobbes would have been the smarter choice.
So after getting the tattoo, Chris Adrian was initially euphoric (for about 15 minutes) but soon realized that the void had not been filled.
Questions occurred to me like: Why did I get it on my back, where I won’t even see it? Why did it have to be so big? And why can’t I just look at the sun and the clouds and remember that someone wanted me to be good, or that someone thought I could be?
The great regret lasted no longer than the euphoria, and what settled in me was a combination of the two. But the experience made me more distrustful of making such a covenant with myself. A covenant is about security, but if I am good it is probably because I am spiritually insecure. Maybe instead of trying to quiet my unease, I should learn to live creatively with the fact that I am almost never sure about the right thing to do.
I feel for this guy, I really do. But a tattoo was never a good idea. Prayer is the answer. There are no quick fixes. Frequent prayer will put a lasting imprint on your soul that will remind you to be good. A tattoo is only skin deep and does not reach where it needs to go.
In the future, if anyone reading this is thinking about a tattoo to fill the spiritual void, remember Chris. Euphoria followed by regret. You don’t need a tattoo for that, a double fudge banana split will do just fine.
May 19, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Just one more contribution to the “I did something really (insert adjective: cool, meaningful, stupid, embarrassing, etc…) and feel impelled to let the whole world know about it because, you know, I’m just such an interesting person” genre of modern journalism.
Funny how someone who sought out a way to remind him to be less insular could write something so, well, insular.
The last paragraph really takes the cake: “… if I am good it is probably because I am spiritually insecure … I should learn to live creatively with the fact that I am almost never sure about the right thing to do.” What’s that strange noise? Why, it’s the exaltation of post-modern doubt crashing against the foundations of moral relativism! Cheers, everyone!
Bob Hunt
May 19, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Gee, when I read your title I thought it was going to be about sacraments that impart an indelible character on the soul, like Baptism, Confirmation, Holy Orders, or Marriage!
Poor guy. Interesting that he goes on about having some sort of reminder to be a better person and then gets a tat of a dragon on his back. I’d have to say that the dragon’s probably been there for a while — now it’s just visible.
BTW, the double fudge banana split-thing — brilliant!
May 19, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Here’s something worth reading concerning tattoos…
http://www.cuf.org/FaithFacts/details_view.asp?ffID=233
And here’s something worth watching…
http://www.youtube.com/v/l6MQ-CK6JEY&hl=en
May 23, 2008 at 9:12 pm
I have a tattoo on my soul. It’s a small tasteful cross of Christ that He placed there during my baptism. 🙂
June 9, 2008 at 4:20 am
What a bunch of harsh comments…wow!
I enjoyed reading this piece but then I’m just an old friend trying to get back in touch with Chris. Everything he writes feels so familiar and that’s such a neat experience. I miss him in my life.
August 3, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I have several tattoos, all of which have meaning. I am currently working on a design for the "Stations of the Cross" to become the vest to my patriotic sleaves. I once read something on a t-shirt that really explains a lot of the harsh and ignorant posts here. It read "The only difference between tattooed people and non-tattooed people is, tattooed people don't care if you're not tattooed". My cousin also had a sign in his shop that said something to the effect of "If Jesus were here today feeding the hungry, healing the sick, & helping the poor, he would be branded a liberal and conservatives would distance themselves from him." Just think, about that. You would probably not believe I play in not 1 but 2 Christian bands. I write original Christian songs based on scripture, and my own life experiences. Do not judge me or anyone else because only God can do that. He is the only omnipitant being, who sent His only son to forgive all our sins. peace with all of you.