I bet you thought that now that Obama has tried to tamper expectations and has appointed the Clinton cabinet v2, all that the messiah worship nonsense would have faded by now. You thought wrong.
Reader Jacki (thank you!) sends us this sublimely silly article from the Philly Inquirer. Once upon a time, Barack Obama went to the gym to work out his godly physique. The mortals in attendance, in envy and awe, tried to keep up with the messiah-elect but that could not happen.
No one dared interfere with the future commander-in-chief’s workout. Club members respected Obama’s privacy, Linderman said, though a jogger at an adjacent treadmill tried to keep up with his brisk pace.
“Barack was just too fast for him,” said assistant manager Will Nelson, who bears a striking resemblance to Obama.
After his workout the messiah-elect posed for pictures and then in dramatic fashion, channeling Mean-Joe-Green, tossed his towel tossed his towel to a small boy (ok, actually the club manager.) The manager, realizing what he had in blessed hands fell to the floor and wept. Ok, I’m exaggerating, but not by much.
Nelson instinctively went to drop it in the towel bin. But he checked himself when he realized he might have the equivalent of a future holy relic on his hands.
“I’m going to put it in a plastic bag, and I’m never going to wash it,” Nelson said, tongue only partly in cheek.
“I suppose I could cut it up, sell it on eBay, just like pieces of the cross,” he said, somewhat slyly. “But that wouldn’t be right, would it?”
Wouldn’t be right? Well that is a tough question. The messiah-elect once told us that sin is violating Obama’s values. So ask yourself Mr. Nelson, what would Obama do. There you will find your answer.
When you are done with that, let’s create a holy day of obligation for the messiah-elect. When will this silliness end?
