Patrick & Matthew Archbold  ·  Published since 2005 Sunday, 25 October 2026

Creative
Minority Report

We Laugh Because We Believe

Set in two inks Black for the argument. Red for everything the Church already answered.

My God, My God. Why Hast Thou Left The Gun And Taken The Canoli?

Were I to say to any man between the age of 18 to 60, “Leave the gun, take the canoli,” I would venture to say that 99% would know exactly what I was taking about. Don’t you?

Of course, I am quoting “The Godfather.” Any self-respecting dude that does not live in San Francisco’s Castro district has memorized almost every line of that movie. It is our mutual cultural reference point. If I say to someone “You gotta go to the mattresses,” they automatically understand that I am encouraging them to fight with everything they have and to bring that fight to the enemy.

I was working overnight on a major systems upgrade. Some colleagues and I were sitting around while the systems engineers did their voodoo. Somehow the conversation turned to religion. A colleague of mine said he didn’t believe. After a little discussion, he dropped what he thought would be a trump card on another fellow in the group.

“If Jesus was God, why did he say ‘”My God, My God, why have you forsaken Me?’ Doesn’t that prove that even Jesus didn’t think he was God.”

I waited for the other guy to respond as the question was directed at him but I could see from the look on his face that he had never considered this question. The questioner had a look of victory on his face. I jumped in.

“I can answer that. Leave the gun, take the canoli.”

I got the desired reaction, blank stares.

“Let me clarify….

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