Patrick will not be blogging here today, or ever again. Instead, he will be changing his name, shooting his television, moving to some place they never heard of football, grow a long beard, and become a fan of synchronized male diving.

Roll Tide!

(P.S. The only thing more embarrassing than the pummeling of Notre Dame was the geriatric Brent Mussberger drooling over AJ McCarron’s girlfriend. McCarron should have beat up Mussberger instead of ND)

PPS. Anybody know where I can buy some really good fake ID, a pipe, and some mustache wax?