Wait. What?
Was he drunk when he wrote this? A movie reviewer for America’s newspaper for our “elites” complains that a children’s movie doesn’t have enough “Kink” or “Carnality?”
The Gateway Pundit: “The new, live-action ‘The Little Mermaid’ is everything nobody should want in a movie: dutiful and defensive, yet desperate for approval. It reeks of obligation and noble intentions. Joy, fun, mystery, risk, flavor, kink — they’re missing,” the review begins. “The movie is saying, ‘We tried!’ Tried not to offend, appall, challenge, imagine. A crab croons, a gull raps, a sea witch swells to Stay Puft proportions: This is not supposed to be a serious event. But it feels made in anticipation of being taken too seriously. Now, you can’t even laugh at it.”
The reviewer complained that there was not enough “carnality,” which of course, is defined as “feeling morbid sexual desire or a propensity to lewdness.”
“The brown skin and placeable accents don’t make the movie more fun, just utopic and therefore less arguable. Now, what you’ve got is something closer to the colorblind wish fulfillment of the Shonda Rhimes streaming universe, minus the wink-wink, side-eye and carnality,” the reviewer continued.
Once again, the only legitimate response is:
Or maybe this:
