The first awkward conversation of the gay marriage era occurred yesterday on the couch of a suburban California home shortly after two gay men watched the news together about the first same sex marriage ceremony.
Bob Carolson, an interior designer, and Ted Alice, an unemployed actor, were watching the nuptials being celebrated on television when Bob proclaimed, “Today is a great day for gay people everywhere. This changes everything.”
And that’s when Ted Alice looked at his boyfriend of three weeks “a little strangely.” Bob asked his partner of three weeks what was wrong when Ted quickly dropped to his knee and asked Bob to marry him.
Bob Carolson admitted that the silence that followed was “a little awkward.”
He said he’s only known Ted for a few weeks and “he seems cool and all but right now Ted’s unemployed and he’s staying at my place which is all right in the short term but…”
Bob said he was in favor of gay marriage in theory but now he’s not as sure as he was about the volatile issue. “This changes everything,” he said ruefully. “Damn Democrats.”
Bob said he’s unsure how he’ll vote in the statewide referendum. He believes this change in the law could lead to a lot of future pressure to marry instead of just hooking up with three, four, five different men each week. “Being gay is supposed to be about doing what I want but now all these other people want something from me,” said Bob. “Gay supposedly means happy but this is not making me happy…at all.”
Bob said that the sudden marriage proposal was not the first sign of trouble, however. On the day the court ruled in favor of gay marriage, Ted was already acting different, according to Bob.
“I came home from work late and he’s asking me all these questions about where I was, who was I with, did I think once about dinner and I’m like…whatever,” said Bob.
Bob worried that even if he did decide to “marry” he would demand a prenuptial agreement. “I don’t want him to get half of my collection of Men’s Health Magazine,” said Bob. “And we haven’t discussed how we’d want to raise the kids. I’m Catholic. He’s Wiccan. But we’re both very spiritual. Sometimes we burn incense.”
In short, Bob may not be the only homosexual who believes that the gay life was a lot gayer before marriage reared its ugly head.