Actor John Goodman has rejoined the cast of forthcoming movie Pope Joan, a movie about an alleged Pope in the middle ages who was secretly a woman. It’s kind of like Yentl for shiksas. The film is scheduled to start filming next month. The film looks to be heavy on the sex and pretty short on theology as the Pope’s got a steamy love interest in the Vatican. You know, because too much theology might make it not suitable for children.
Goodman had walked off set a few months back and after delays and a legal dispute he’s finally back so the movie which seemed off the tracks for a while is unfortunately back on. Goodman is also pretending to be a Pope in the film.
Here’s the myth of Pope Joan, according to Patrick Madrid: “In the middle ages, an extraordinarily brilliant young woman entered a theological university disguised as a man. Her intellect outstripped her male classmates and she shot to the top rank of students. Her brilliance was so widely acknowledged that she eventually became Cardinal and finally “Pope Joan,” by hiding her gender. No one knew she was a woman until, during a papal procession through the streets of Rome, she went into labor and gave birth to a child. She and the baby were killed on the spot by the crazed Catholic mob, enraged at her imposture.”
So the movie looks to be a whole forbidden love thing. Now, of course, there’s no evidence of any of this being even close to true but believers point to the lack of evidence as proof of a cover-up by the Church. Convenient, right?
And you know that when this trash hits the screens, there’s going to be so many specials, documentaries, and promotional interviews about Pope Joan and female ordination. Fr. Richard McBrien will be quoted in the New York Times saying, “if it’s not true it should be.” Larry King will ask Bill Donahue what the female Pope might say about the Church if she were alive today and Donahue will actually exlode right there in front of the cameras. And Pope Joan will still be seen by many “Entertainment Tonight” watchers, not as a ridiculous movie but as a real biography of one of the first feminists who made it to the top of the all boy’s Catholic Church.
Get ready folks.
And worst of all now because of Goodman, I can’t even watch Roseanne reruns anymore.