Believe me when I tell you that I am by nature, an optimist. I am definitely a glass is half full kind of guy. This is why it pains me to have to point out the obvious. We are all doomed!
Now I am not prone to hyperbole, well ok, actually I am but that doesn’t mean that the sky is not falling. Let me point out just a few items that prove my case.
Total Economic Collapse. This is a given, everybody says so. Worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. The Great Depression! Everything about the Great Depression was bad, bad! Well ok the movies were really good, but everything else was really bad.
Rising and Belligerent Russia. Can we be honest with ourselves, we all knew they would do it again, didn’t we? It is only a matter of time until Russia’s expansionist intent becomes undeniable. If we elect the the Big O Commander-in-wuss there will be nobody on the big stage to say no to Putin. Sorry Georgia, Ukraine, and the Baltic States, it was fun while it lasted. On the upside, we can hate the Ruskiis again. I like that kind of clarity.
Señor Crazypants and Venezuela: Crazy Chavez is sitting down their rattling sabres in our own hemisphere. That wouldn’t be so bad except that he controls a lot of oil and is now cozying up with Russia to build Nuclear power plants (Can the centrifuges be far behind?) and buying Chinese fighter planes. Fighter planes and nukes, bad combination.
Iran and Israel: Let’s face it, this is only a matter of when, right? The crazies who run Iran are determined to get a nuclear weapon and Israel is simply not gonna let that happen. What do we have, six months, a year? I don’t know, but I can’t imagine it will be very long. My guess, Israel will go after them between the US election and the inauguration. If Israel takes them out, the Middle East is de-stabilized and we have war. If Israel does nothing, it risks its very existence while allowing the de-stabilization of the Middle East leading eventually to war. Did I mention we are doomed?
Starvation Due to Global Cooling: While Al Gore is out there selling carbon offsets and urging civil disobedience to shut down coal plants, the Sun has completely shut down its solar activity. The lack of Solar wind could lead to a new ice age leading to global crop failures. What Al Gore and the eco-nazis are doing is making it worse. What we need now is all the dirty coal plants we can build to at least keep the the temperature up!
Dear Leader and The Party of Death: This country is poised to elect the most radical left wing proponent of the culture of death to its highest office. This election could possibly set back the life movement a generation with Obama stacking the highest court in the land with pro-death jurists. If this happens, the silencing of the people by judicial fiat will continue for years to come. I have read the bible, well some of it. Anyway, I have read enough to know that this kind of thing eventually provokes divine retribution. We should all pack our bags in advance of our Babylonian captivity.
Oh, and the Mets choked again!
All this and I am just skimming the top off the things that insure our imminent destruction. I think I might buy some land in upstate New York or someplace else remote with access to plenty of fish and game and maybe a winning minor league baseball team. I just like to be prepared.