I’m reading everywhere about Earth Hour all of a sudden. At first I was like OK we’ve downgraded Earth Day to just one hour. Now, that’s progress but it turns out that we still have all 24 hours of Earth Day but that wasn’t enough so now we have an extra Earth Hour added on. It’s kind of like Christmas in July for lunatics, I guess.

To be honest, I’d never heard a thing about it before a few days ago but now it’s everywhere. I read that it’s an international event organised by the WWF. So I asked myself why the heck do a bunch of wrestlers care so much about the environment but it turns out that WWF actually stands for the World Wide Fund for Nature or the World Wildlife Fund or some such ridiculousness like that. Either way I’d probably rather hang out with the wrestlers.

But I read the same line everywhere that while everyone agrees that turning off their lights won’t really do all that much for the environment it will…come on repeat after me…”raise awareness.”

Is it possible that there’s anybody out there who’s not aware of the supposed effects of global warming/climate change/2012/aerosol pollution/ CO2 emissions/cow flatulence/volcanic eruptions?

I’m aware. You’re aware. Anyone with a television or radio is aware and if someone doesn’t have a television or radio then they’re not the problem anyway. So can we cut it out now?

At what point do we get to say that awareness has been raised. Mission Accomplished. We’re done. Everyone’s so completely aware that we’re bored to death of our awareness.

You know how in polls if you ask the stupidest question ever like ‘How many fingers does the normal person have?’ you’ll get like three percent of the people who are ‘undecided.’ Well, I don’t think you’d get that high a number of undecideds for global warming/climate change. Anyone who’s undecided is just saying that because the girl asking the poll question sounds cute over the phone and the weird guy who answered the phone just wants to keep talking.

So a note to all the climate alarmists: It’s not that we’re undecided. It’s not that we’re unaware. We just don’t believe you.

Earth Hour will next take place on Saturday, March 28, 2009 at 8:30 pm, local time. I would live blog it just to write about all the lights I’m turning on in my house at that exact moment but I think I’ll be on the New Jersey Turnpike heading up to see my family in New York. But I’ll be sure to have my brights on.