Are you tired of having that same old dinosaur? Have you been worried for years about the deleterious effect that those old clunkers have had on the environment and art in our worship? Have you been thinking about upgrading but were just not sure if now was the right time? Well think no more!
Thanks to an exciting new Vatican Program you can trade in your tired, old, progressive Priest, Liturgist, or Music Director for a brand new – certified orthodox – model.
The Vatican has begun a a new program officially called “Faith and Tradition Recovery Act” but otherwise known as “Mass for Clunkers.” Under this program you can trade in your harmful old “Community Faith Director in the Catholic faith tradition” for a brand new Priest in the Order of Melchizedek! This exciting program also applies to progressive liturgists and music directors.
A brand new orthodox model comes with many benefits! First and foremost, a new model is guaranteed to save more souls! These antiquated and out of date models have wrecked our churches for too long! Save our environment and trade in your old progressive clunker now and as a bonus you will receive a 4500 days indulgence absolutely free!
So trade in you old clunker now! This is a limited time offer!
August 6, 2009 at 7:11 am
Patrick Archbold, perhaps you should start selling t-shirts to help advertise? I also like the Papa Bens New and Improved. 😀
August 6, 2009 at 7:52 am
I simply believe it is reprehensible to make fun of … any person for that matter.
If it works for you, fine. The key words there are "I believe." What constitutes "making fun of" someone is open to question. I think it's possible to have a good laugh without it crossing into judgment or condemnation. I tease my father all the time (and he returns the favor). Is it because I think there is something wrong or bad about him? Not at all; it's done out of affection.
I am just sick and tired of people who are so confident in their own holiness that it becomes acceptable for them to make fun of or judge others.
I'm trying to figure out what being confident in one's own holiness such that it becomes acceptable to judge others would look like. It couldn't be….oh….something like this?
Everything about this is contrary to what the Bible teaches us, and I think you should take a step back and think about it.
Q.E.D. Well done.
August 6, 2009 at 9:20 am
I'd love a t-shirt that says "Ask me about my extraordinary form."
August 6, 2009 at 12:23 pm
The blogger at Eternity Road has complained about the priest in the picture several times- see http://www.eternityroad.info/index.php/weblog/single/expose/
August 6, 2009 at 1:17 pm
Maybe Jennifer ought to cut the sanctimony and defend the Church. Hers is the exact "patience" and "tolerance" that has led to 40 years of this nonsense and a complete squandering of the Church's moral authority. And you sound pretty "confident" of your own acceptance of this malificience, so quit pointing fingers yourself.
August 6, 2009 at 1:47 pm
Brilliant! Thanks for the laugh. Much needed today as we slip & slide to Govt.-run HELLthcare.
August 6, 2009 at 5:31 pm
I wish they would have a Mass for those of us who find the Church's rigid and dogmatic teachings problematic. I've been a Eucharistic Minister in the Richmond, VA diocese for thirty-five years and still find myself getting irritated by those few self-righteous theatrically pious show-offs who insist on silly things like genuflecting and sticking their tongues out at me.
August 6, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Um…wow, so this got a little off topic. I think it's hilarious! Also, Richmond anonymous: Whoa. Talk about harshly judging…Maybe those "show offs" are really sincere? And maybe they're not, but it's really up to God to know that, and not, thankfully, you.
August 6, 2009 at 8:04 pm
oh man that made me laugh so hard. Thanks hahaha.
And I think for everyone who's jumping down patrick's throat, he didn't call anyone any bad names or anything. Unless you're saying hippie is a bad name, in which case gosh, you should really lay off the hippies :-p He was just being funny, if you don't like funny this isn't a good blog for anyone to read! lol
August 6, 2009 at 10:18 pm
If it weren't for people like Jennifer, we wouldn't recognize our Church…!!! We are ALL God's children…a little discretion goes a long way…!
None of us have it all together, but together we have it all!!!
We needn't offend another christian to get our point across…!!!
JMHO, Thanks, Fran
August 6, 2009 at 10:29 pm
As far as anyone feeling sorry for misled priests and religious . . . plenty of these "misled" did really bad things to others in seminaries and formation houses. No matter what "changes in the Church" are going on, there is no excuse for forsaking the Gospel of Christ and the Love of God in the name of newness. Let's ditch the theoretical suppositions.
August 6, 2009 at 10:51 pm
I am just astounded by the number of people who don't have any kind of problem with this. While I did not intend to "jump down anyone's throat", I have no qualms about speaking my mind if I think something is offensive to God. I am sure Patrick had no malicious intent, but I do believe he made a mistake in creating this image.
Let me walk you through this. Some people think that putting Sandra Sotomayor's face on Our Lady of Guadalupe is entertaining. Some people think that Jesus Christ Superstar is entertaining. Some people think that putting a crucifix in a jar of piss is entertaining. Some people think that making the Pope look like Santa Claus holding wads of cash and jokingly using an image of a priest performing the holy mass is entertaining. What, pray tell, is the difference??? What gives you the unique privilege to laugh at things that shouldn't be funny? Because you're "in" with God? Think about it!
I am not trying to make Patrick feel horrible about himself, I just don't think it is healthy for any Catholic to go down this path. Some things should be sacred and respected. I know you agree with that.
I am just writing as one imperfect Catholic to others, trusting that you all have the best intentions. Contrary to what many of you probably think, I am not a dour-faced boring old lady. I am 28 years old, fun-loving, wife of a Catholic convert, and have a great sense of humor. But I don't need to laugh about church. I am not a frequent visitor to this website (found this particular post via a link from a friend), but I have seen other material on here that I think is fine and tastefully done. This one simply isn't.
August 7, 2009 at 12:40 am
Patrick- I think your post is hysterical, if we can't laugh about this stuff then we would spend all day crying.
Up here in liberal la-la land Maine we have a had 40 years of hippy-dippy priests and now we are reaping the harvest: 4 seminarians in a diocese with a huge priest shortage. Each priest is covering 3-4 parishes and having to spend all day Sunday in the car trying to race from one far-flung Mass to another.
This is the fruit of clunker priests: no vocations.
And for Jennifer who excuses liturgical abuse with the disfunctional childhood theory, there is no shortage of books out there for seminarians and priests to read and learn what the Church teaches. They can start with the Catechism and Summa Theologica.
August 7, 2009 at 2:56 am
No one is trying to make the Pope look like Santa Claus. That is a picture of the Holy Father wearing the -Camauro-, which is traditional headware for the pontiffs.
August 7, 2009 at 4:52 am
That hippie priest could be Jesus (long hair and all), and the orthodox could be the Jewish leaders. We are all the holy Jews laughing about the hippie (not on the Sabbath though!)
August 7, 2009 at 7:20 am
Another vote for Bwahahahahahahaha!
August 7, 2009 at 8:10 am
Love the idea, but the cropped photo of the Pope fingering what looks like filthy money leaves me cold. Cold. Not funny at all.
August 7, 2009 at 8:58 pm
This is the best posting ever!
August 7, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Here is the priest shown above with his lecture on "tolerance." Talk about holier than thou. Sadly, we are where we are because we tolerate everything!
http://experts.longisland.com/fatherfrank
August 7, 2009 at 11:19 pm
Very good. Who says Catholics can't laugh at themselves?