OK. I’m sending up a flare. This is me asking for help. I’m looking for some good comebacks to the age old questions that people from big families get asked all the time.
Here’s how it started. I brought my five children to the movies, aged ten down to two this past weekend. And the guy standing there taking tickets pointed to the children and asked, “Are these all yours?”
I typically make a joke and say that two of them were hitchhikers I found on the expressway but he didn’t seem like a happy fellow so I simply admitted they were all mine.
“What?! Really?” he said, his eyes widening. “You ever hear of overpopulation, man?”
And there was me. Gobsmacked. And I’m not easily gobsmackable. If I could’ve typed out… Continue Reading @ National Catholic Register
March 23, 2010 at 6:22 pm
Maybe you could say they are all only (single) children from your first 5 wives.
You should see how many more I have in the freezer.
The prolific will rule the world.
I'm always looking for ways to bring the fallacy of the culture of death into the argument. Today at bible study a woman, mother of two, stated that her neighbor had a new born and it was so nice to have a baby around again. She was talking to a mother, (a t shirt recipient) who just had her 6th last week. We both told her we could never make the decision to stop having children, for they are a blessing from God. Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.
March 23, 2010 at 7:53 pm
Been there, done that! And wrote about it nearly two years ago:
http://catholicfamilyvignettes.com/2008/08/12/silly-questions-silly-answers/
March 23, 2010 at 8:58 pm
aaaah – the "Fertility Police". We have five, and have heard most of these (The people who make them we collectively call "The Fertility Police") What makes me most sad is that the vast majority of these comments have come from fellow parishioners at mass and family members. One woman once was so disgusted by our kids that she moved to another line at the supermarket checkout.
March 23, 2010 at 9:51 pm
What a jerk, I can honestly say that as a single woman in my mid thirties, though living chaste hopes to one day be married and have scores of children. I'd be so happy to see a family larger than 4, as I would have a good form of envy. Southern California is unfortunately made up of 3.5 member families! Boring!
God bless all big Catholic families!
– Lisa
March 23, 2010 at 10:19 pm
In answer to the "Don't you have a TV?" question I often say:
"Wait, you think TV is better than sex?"
or (if I'm grumpy)
"Man your sex life must really suck if you think TV is more fun!"
March 23, 2010 at 10:26 pm
One summer day in San Diego, my sister and I were shopping for dinner. A complete stranger came up to us and said, "You both look alike." Imagine that, two sisters who look alike. I told her, " Same cookie dough, same cookie cutter." Seems siblings are a thing of the past in SoCal.
March 23, 2010 at 11:01 pm
Love all the answers! Peter, your TV comment is my favorite so far. I'm just sorry we don't get asked that question anymore.
Matthew, I think you did the right thing. To go one step further, write a letter to the management, or better yet, send them a copy of your article with all the great comments, then take your business elsewhere.
I once took all the kids to a new dentist and was asked similar questions by the dentist in front of the kids. We never went back. Ditto for a swim instructor, who actually said to me, when I asked how much were lessons, "You can't afford that many kids."
March 24, 2010 at 12:13 am
With only three we don't get too much flak. Most of it comes in the way of assuming I'm "Grandpa" (a 57 yr. old with children 6,5, & 3, go figure). Most folk are pretty embarassed when corrected.
The worst comment I got was from a coworker after telling him my wife was 22 years my junior. He wanted to know if she was "really, really obese cause man you don't see young women with older dudes unless they're getting desperate". Pretty much an exact quote.
I told him the wife didn't like guys her own age because they were lousy in bed. He was EXACTLY her age and stereotypical "macho man" Hispanic. So he got the point pronto.
For some reason we didn't talk again during the short time he was employed with the company (a background check revealed he was up on charges of Grand Theft).
Jerks; you find them everywhere.
March 24, 2010 at 3:19 am
Hehe, my husband bought me a shirt that says "we're not trying to overpopulate the world– just outnumber the idiots."
We only have our little Kit so far, and we're closer to 30 than 20, but there's still folks that are surprised….
March 24, 2010 at 11:44 am
My sis and I liked telling people who asked "Are these all your kids?" that "No, we have more."
Ikwym about encountering it in the Church. I got rather specific with a fellow marriage encounter person about perfect charting, fabulous timing, awesome s*x and lots of prayer, and they never asked again 😉
March 24, 2010 at 3:11 pm
I think the kids speak for themselves. Last night I brought all four kids to a restaurant, and everyone stared at this "crazy lady" out with her kids…The older boys led us in grace as soon as the food arrived, the younger ones followed along with clasped hands.
A woman walked by and said "Four boys? You poor thing!" And I said that the youngest was my girl and that when her hair gets longer I'll do it up nice. As she walked away, my oldest (6) son piped up "Of course she's a girl! Didn't you notice she was dressed all in pink? At least I think she's real cute."
Hehehe, who says chivalry is dead;)
March 24, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Ooops, that was me, Patty in CT, sorry Honey:)
March 24, 2010 at 4:53 pm
"What I have is proof that I've had sex 5 times. How many kids do you have?"
March 24, 2010 at 5:12 pm
This won't be nearly as much fun as some of the other snappier answers, but how about,"Please call your manager over."
And then stand there and hold up the line. When the manager finally comes over, resist the urge to "go over here and discuss it", thank the manager for his employee's comments on a personal matter in public (absolutely in front of the employee and others in the line), and ask the manager if it is company policy to discuss the sex life of customers with clients in public.
It is not charitable to allow the situation to occur again to someone else. It is not kind or courteous to allow this kind of thing to happen (and if you turn the other cheek, YOU are just as complicit the next time it happens to someone else). There is a difference between meekness and timidity.
You are completely within your rights, as a customer, to be treated with dignity and respect. In fact, you are paying for it.
[Oh, and if the manager doesn't get the hint, feel free to move up the food chain. You will reach a point of pain, and make it stop.]
March 25, 2010 at 1:30 am
Saw this on Facebook's Status Shuffle: "loves when people ask us about our large family; "Are the children all yours?" "No, we stole some from random families while walking through the mall."