Hmmmmm.
This is news? Really? A coupla women who make Fran Drescher sound pleasant run to the media because they didn’t like the priest’s hand motions? Really?
A few comments. The podium? Oy.
If these two (ahem) delightful women were giving a eulogy during the liturgy, the priest couldn’t have wrapped it up quickly enough.
I wasn’t there and I am loathe to take side, but I am confident that Gramma is in a much better place, if you know what I mean.
March 17, 2011 at 4:50 am
This is newsworthy? Gimme a break.
March 17, 2011 at 5:10 am
Why was she even speaking at the funeral? Or asking for videos? The wake or graveside is the more appropriate place for those things anyway. Who knows what the priest actually did?
March 17, 2011 at 5:21 am
You can read the petition on the big screen quite easily. It's sad that the women are so poorly catechized that they don't understand why the priest told the woman to put the host in her mouth. She was in the pew eating it piece by piece. If she could only take a small piece — she is recovering from mouth cancer — I would think it commonsense to avoid receiving or inform the priest beforehand.
Of course the news report plays its part with convincible ignorance.
March 17, 2011 at 9:01 am
Funerals often show how out of touch people are with their faith and the meaning of the Mass, especially funeral Masses. These folks, and most of the adult children of the 50s & 60s era Catholics need our prayers.
March 17, 2011 at 12:17 pm
Rev. Baker? Isn't the proper title for a Catholic priest, Father? Ugh! What a lame excuse for a news story and so poorly reported to boot.
March 17, 2011 at 12:58 pm
1, you don't give a eulogy at a Mass.
2, you don't bite into the body of Christ like you're eating a cookie.
Who Catechized you ladies?
March 17, 2011 at 1:27 pm
Here are my thoughts
1. There are rubrics for a Catholic funeral and wake, and as long as they are followed, I believe the family should be permitted to make choices about the wake and funeral within that context. It's not clear to me that is what the family is talking about. Did the priest go over the rubrics and invite the family for their input/choices where it is permitted?
2.If the women were correct about the priest's behavior, let's face it, the most charitiable interpretation is that he was insensitive. Yes, they may not have known "what's allowed" at a Catholic funeral, even how to proproperly receive communion, and they may not even be Catholic, but there are kinder and gentler ways to handle this within the liturgy. These are grieving people. We should go out of our way to be nice to them.
Obviously they are angry, and they went to the media–which is an over-the-top response. But, I understand their anger too. They feel left out. It is probably not their fault that they don't know how a Catholic funeral is supposed to be. Unless all of this was explained beforehand, I understand their point-of-view. Let's ask some questions about the guy in charge. Why was the priest surprised by the length of the woman's remarks? If he was, the he's not doing his job. Surely the priest has had experience with folks not knowing how to receive communion and approaching to do so. In fact, I suspect this happens quite often at funerals. I've seen this handled in much quieter ways at Mass.
I believe this is one of those situations where there is plenty of "blame" to go around, but who is the "Catholic" expert in all this and the pastoral presence. Shouldn't it be the priest?
March 17, 2011 at 1:31 pm
"At the funeral Mass there should as a rule be a short homily, but never a eulogy of any kind" (GIRM 338).
March 17, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I wonder if they could have shown these two women's weddings on Bridezilla. The "I'm paying for this wedding/funeral crowd and you will do as I say" mentality is so 21st century.
The sin of Sloth includes not knowing or studying your faith, I assume.
March 17, 2011 at 3:56 pm
WOW! This priest sounds like….he was TRYING to be 'pastoral' by allowing the eulogy during the funeral- and it backfired. This should be a lesson to him to just do what the Church allows and then "smile and wave" (like the penguins on Madagascar)
March 17, 2011 at 3:57 pm
and yes- even the homily during the funeral isn't about the deceased person (it might touch on the subject a wee bit)- it is about life, death, heaven, hell, etc)
March 17, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Here's the interesting thing: Newark does not allow Eulogies or words of remembrance at a Funeral Mass
March 17, 2011 at 4:57 pm
Sounds like everything has been handled badly by everyone…
More facts may put a different light on things but it sounds like the funeral preparation with the family was incomplete and appropriate expectations were not set on either side. The same with the issue over communion – a little more communication in advance on both sides and I think this could have been avoided.
I really do understand that the family are upset with the way things happened, but taking it to the press only brings scandal on the Church and will most likely achieve little…
March 17, 2011 at 5:54 pm
Perhaps the priest was rude or at the least insensitive, but how on earth does this rate as a TV news story?? So, if a waiter is rude to me I now go to the local TV news affliate to complain?? Gee, y'know, that bus driver didn't smile or say "Good Morning!" Quick! Get me the news desk!! Sheesh! What maroons these be!
March 17, 2011 at 6:54 pm
I have many feelings on this –most already expressed. My dominant emotion though is hilarity: the "spirit" of pre vatican II meets the post vatican II participating laity monster.
Is there no little voice whispering in heads of these two: The funeral is not for you ..it's not for your "memories"… it's not for your video camera. My message to these two? The funeral is for the soul of your grandmother. Get down on your knees and pray for her and stop this me-me-me foolishness. Somehow I hear the voice of my Irish mother in this.
March 17, 2011 at 8:43 pm
Eulogies, defined as speeches praising a person who has died, should not be given at Catholic funerals, according to Archbishop Seán Brady, president of the Irish bishops' conference. Official liturgical directives do not allow them, except for brief personal remarks following Mass.
March 18, 2011 at 4:39 am
This news story seems pretty incomplete. Families often approach Catholic funerals as if they are consumers paying for a product, and "the customer is always right." Often enough, they are not practicing Catholics, they don't have a clue how to act at a Catholic mass, they don't respond to any of the prayers, they don't know when to sit, stand, or kneel. Many come to Holy Communion not knowing Who it is they are receiving, and not spiritually prepared. Eulogies are usually a nightmare – way longer than the eulogizer promised, completely unrelated to Christian faith, and almost always proclaiming that "Grandpa is in Heaven now teaching Jesus how to run the place properly," or some other such drivel. Most people are completely unaware that a Catholic funeral is offered for the salvation of the departed, not simply a "celebration of Grandma," or whatever people would like it to be. I wonder if the women complaining here are even practicing Catholics. I say all this as a priest veteran of hundreds of Catholic funerals.
March 18, 2011 at 1:46 pm
I'm a church organist so I attend a lot of funerals. Out of hundreds of funerals I can count on one hand where someone has done the eulogy properly. Only two people have given the eulogy where they spoke about how this person's faith in God has affected their lives. Everybody else's eulogy was all about how wonderful the deceased was. I suspect (like everyone else here) that these ladies have absolutely no clue about why they are there.
Yes, the priest could have been a little rough but who really knows? Don't you think these ladies are going to exaggerate just to make themselves look good? They probably flipped out at something minor and then went from there. These women ought to be ashamed of themselves.
March 18, 2011 at 3:37 pm
Most of my thoughts are already up there somewhere. This is definitely not newsworthy. I've let some people say something briefly after the Post-Communion Prayer, before the Commendation….
Emotions run high at funerals. Therefore, I'm sure the two ladies may have exaggerated the situation a bit. A simple hand signal to the funeral directors to come forward may have been turned into "Air-traffic Controller" in the midst of this. The same with "Wrap it up" — how long had she gone on before this? When I do have someone who wants to say a few words, I always admonish that the people have already been in church for an hour, so we want to be brief.
Who knows, maybe he had another funeral or a wedding and was getting very nervous about the time.
March 21, 2011 at 11:05 am
I guess these women wanted "their time" in the news to bash the Catholic church. They clearly do not understand that we must consume the host in its entirety by putting it in our mouth. If anyone is unable to consume an entire Host then it is their responsibly to inform the priest prior to receiving. We never, ever take a Consecrated Host and consume it in "bits and peaces". Eulogies are not permitted at a Catholic Funeral. The fact that this priest was kind enough to permit it speaks to his compassion and to the women's total lack of understanding about the Catholic faith. And now they are petitioning to have the priest removed? The lesson here is learn your faith before you criticize and make yourself look ridiculous.