There are some movies that are just so bad that you will never forget them. No matter how much you try.
Matt and I count these among some of the worst movies we have ever seen. In no particular order.
Cool World
I bet that they though after the success of Who Framed Roger Rabbit that doing the same thing, only edgier, was a great idea. Not so much.
Highlander II
Highlander was great. Then they negated everything the first movie was about by making them all aliens. ALIENS! This movie was so bad, part III pretended part II never happened. That bad.
Shark Boy and Lava Girl
My kids made me see it some years back. I will never forgive them for that 90 mins. Even worse, it introduced Taylor Lautner who has the dubious distinction of being in another horrible movie…
Twilight Part II
Wow. I could not believe how bad this movie was. Put on a shirt, jerk. Vampires need killin’, not understanding. Just bad.
M. Night Double Feature: The Happening & Lady in the Water.
After some great movies and great success, M. Night fired the lady who used to tell him no. The Happening was so bad I actually called Matt from the theater to tell him how bad it was. I usually like Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel, but the acting was horrendous.
I imagine M. Night’s direction went something like this. “Zooey, act scared. Make your eyes bigger!! No bigger.” “Zooey, act angry. Make your eyes bigger!! No bigger.” “Zooey, act happy. Make your eyes bigger!! No bigger.”
“Mark, just stand there and look blank. No! Blanker!”
Side Out with C. Thomas Howell.
Actually, make that any C. Thomas Howell movie since the Hitcher. Actually make that any C. Thomas Howell movie or Rutger Hauer movie since the Hitcher. Except for Batman Begins. We will give Rugter a pass on that one.
What movies do you love to hate and why?
November 16, 2011 at 3:12 am
The Abyss by James Cameron: Started out as an excellent adventure movie, then about half way through some aliens appeared out of nowhere. Pretty sure the movie makers weren't sure where they were going, and called up special effects: "We need some alien creatures, right away!"
Oh, and by the way, ANYTHING with Adam Sandler or Seth Rogan.
November 16, 2011 at 3:21 am
One more thing: "Pirates of the Carribean". A gay pirate? Excellent example of the "Brando Principle": If you're a BIG STAR, you can make any movie you want, no matter how stupid. Anyone remember the foppish Fletcher Christian?
November 16, 2011 at 3:24 am
Cabin Boy, Starship Troopers and Transformers 2 top my terrible movie list.
November 16, 2011 at 3:26 am
The movie "Say it isn't so" with Chris Klein and Heather Graham. Its about a guy and girl who start dating, only to find out they are brother and sister, and then of course find out at the end they are not brother and sister after all… it's SO terrible!
Never see it, you'll never get those wasted 90 minutes back.
November 16, 2011 at 3:36 am
The movie "2012." The ONLY way I will ever see that movie again is if I am watching it with my future children so I can convince them it is a documentary and that I survived it. Other than that, there is no reason that movie should exist
November 16, 2011 at 3:41 am
This is a great topic! The "Transformers" movies. Only an 8 year old boy could enjoy them. Something by M. Knight Something-or-other. My daughter made me watch it. Had Mel Gibson in it and Joaquin Phoenix, Like watching paint dry. Gotta disagree about "Starship Troopers". Exciting, amusing, well done.
November 16, 2011 at 3:56 am
Every Rutger Hauer movie since The Hitcher? You, sir, are either void of any taste, or you've never seen either "Blind Fury" or "Hobo with a Shotgun".
November 16, 2011 at 4:04 am
Star Trek: Shatner's Script From La-La Land. I don't remember the number (5?) but the one with Spock's half-bro. dragging them all to find God in the center of the universe. Worst movie ever.
Although they're going to make a Dr. Who movie, and if they screw that one up, it will be epic and unforgivable.
Xena Catolica
November 16, 2011 at 4:08 am
I can't decide between Jurassic Park II or Jurassic Park III. Both.
Although they're going to make a Dr. Who movie, and if they screw that one up, it will be epic and unforgivable.
Well, Fox did back in the mid-90's, and yeah, it was pretty awful.
(Cue Matthew calling me a geek in 3..2..1..)
November 16, 2011 at 4:10 am
It's a tie between Battlefield Earth (it was a free rental) and Batman and Robin.
Battlefield Earth we chapter-skipped through after the first five minutes only to find ourselves skipping back to work out how air-breathing harrier jump-jets flown by apparent neanderthals were fighting off an alien armada in space. The answer doesn't help.
Batman and Robin… well… to nit-pick one flaw would be to play down the others…
November 16, 2011 at 4:17 am
The Order with Heath Ledger. I watched it when I was young and stupid. Wait, scratch that, I actually left the theater with my friends because it sucked so badly.
November 16, 2011 at 4:21 am
"The Boys from Brazil". Gregory Peck as Dr. Josef Mengele. Laurence Olivier as the Nazi Hunter. Hitler boys and vicious Dobermans. A demented waltz by Jerry Goldsmith. God, I love this movie!
November 16, 2011 at 4:57 am
My husband and I would like to nominate "Raintree County". It was boring and maudlin and something like 6 hours long. I think it was supposed to be a "Gone with the Wind" for Liz Taylor. The only thing that could make this movie worth watching would be aliens. Then you'd have something!
Thanks for reminding me about The Abyss. That's a close second.
November 16, 2011 at 5:31 am
Definitely worst: Eat, Pray, Love!
November 16, 2011 at 6:15 am
What's even worse are the bad films that are made for bad purposes – Chocolat, Million Dollar Baby and other pro-abortion films (like the one with Mariah Carey (?) where the heroine was an abortionist because she was an abortionist).
November 16, 2011 at 7:04 am
Ridley Scott's "Kingdom of Heaven" is the worst movie of all time. Not only is it probably the most unhistoric of historical movies, it has the most unbelievable lead character of all time.
How does a blacksmith, the illegitimate son of a noble, become an expert swordsman after 30 seconds of training? How is that same person who has no training in military tactics, combat engineering, or agriculture become an expert in all those areas as well. Not only that his agriculural expertise happens to be in a land and climate where he had never lived. You could drive a truck through these plot holes.
Also, why does the move turn Sibylla of Jerusalem, a woman historically known for her loyalty to her husband who maneuvered to get him the throne, turned into an adulteress who tries to prevent that husband from getting the throne?
How come I can't back the 2 1/2 hours of my life wasted in watching this trash?
November 16, 2011 at 8:39 am
"The Day After Tomorrow." I actually didn't mind the movie or the acting too much, though I was in high school when I saw it. But I'm bitter because, though it had moments, it was to some degree a huge slam on all things Republican or 'conservative' in disaster-movie context, and one of my liberal friends at the party where we were watching took the time to point out the ONE point where they slammed the uselessness of tax law under the circumstances. Seriously? That movie might be one of the longest campaign ads ever, and a slam on the devaluation of tax law in a snowpocalypse does not undo this. So it's not the worst movie I've ever seen, I don't think, but it's probably the one I love to hate the most, even though I suspect I'd like it okay if I saw it again.
November 16, 2011 at 12:19 pm
How about "Journey to the Center of the Earth" with Brendan Fraser? Horrible.
November 16, 2011 at 12:21 pm
Anything with Julia Roberts. The narcissism just oozes from the screen. "Pretty Woman": "It's so exciting being a whore – not sleazy at all!"
November 16, 2011 at 12:46 pm
Have we forgotten "Plan 9 From Outer Space"? Scotju