Cardinal Baffling of Gotham City has staunchly right-wing Catholics foaming at the mouth after his invitation to the Devil to attend a Catholic fundraiser.
Ultra-conservative Catholic groups have criticized Cardinal Baffling for extending an invitation to Mr. Satan for the “Jesus Saves Dinner.” The annual dinner is dedicated to raising funds and awareness for those committed to saving souls from Hell.
“The invitation is an outrage and completely undermines the message and the cause of the dinner,” says Mr. Incredulous of the Catholic League of People Opposing the Devil. Mr. Incredulous continued, “How can Cardinal Baffling say on the one hand that he and the Church oppose the Devil and all his works, and then at the same time invite that very same Devil to a Catholic event? It makes no sense!”
Diocese of Gotham spokesman, Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, responded by saying “This is a non-Partisan event and if the Devil is willing to attend a Catholic fundraiser, the Cardinal is happy to have him. Gotham Cardinals have a history of inviting both sides in the ongoing dialogue between good and evil.”
The spokesperson for the Leadership Conference of Women Religious, Sister Infedelia L.G.B.T., applauded the invitation. “We think it is wonderful that the Cardinal invited Mr. Satan to the dinner. It just goes to show what we have been saying all along. That you can embrace something at the same time you say you oppose it.”
Others disagree.
“How does it help the cause to have the Cardinal have an all-smiles photo-op with the Devil when the Cardinal is supposed to be locked in an all-hands battle against the Devil to save souls?” said ultra-right-wing conservative Catholic blogger Patrick Archbold. “Doesn’t he think the Devil will happily distribute that picture to everyone to show that the Catholic Church is not really opposed to the Devil after all? Of course he will! He’s the Devil!”
Mr. Saeed al-Sahhaf says that the dinner “is an evening to put politics aside and come together in a spirit of civility. After all, this is a light-hearted event.”
As if to confirm this statement, the Devil could be heard laughing.
August 9, 2012 at 4:13 pm
When President Marcos invited Cardinal Sin to his birthday, Cardinal Sin attended the event and even led the birthday song. He sat next to Marcos and in with his usual wit tried to be like Nathan is to David.
Then again, Marcos had an iron grip on that country and the Church had to be careful. Doesn't square at all fours, I know, but shows how our community thrives and adapts – abroad then, here now.
August 9, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Since this issue has been brought up,there is alot of division between we Catholics,am sure this is the time to PRAY AND FAST to stick in the FAITH we proclaim each day in Church,some of us are insulting people of devil ,who are we to judge???ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE. Please let's really pray ,there is already alot of misunderstandings between us and that is the plan of the devil,instead of there insulting people ,we need to pray that GOD help forgive them and make them change their mind,insulting or querelling will not change something but PRAYER CAN CHANGE SOMETHING
August 10, 2012 at 3:06 am
Actually, both Cardinal Dolan and the White House aren't saying if the president has been invited to the fundraiser. And with this administration, you know that if Obama had been invited he'd be shouting it from the rooftops, not trying to keep his invitation status hush-hush. We should have a little more faith in and respect for Cardinal Dolan. He knows what he's doing.
August 10, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Dr. Pangloss! Dr. Pangloss! You're wanted in surgery for a spinectomy – STAT!
JOB
August 10, 2012 at 9:41 pm
I hear that dog is a dish best served cold.