*subhead*Parent to kid dictionary.*subhead*

I am Charlie Brown’s incomprehensible teacher. I don’t know how it happened but it did. I think it happens to all parents. No matter what parents think they’re saying, I’ve discovered that it’s not what children are hearing.

So after years of intense studies at places like Chuck E. Cheese and playgrounds I’ve discovered that there are certain things that parents say that children just clearly hear differently. (Mind you, I don’t say all of these but I’ve heard them at least a thousand times.) So I offer to you my What Parents Say / What Kids Hear Dictionary:

“Clean your room” = Go upstairs and sit on your bed and complain about your parents for half an hour even if you’re in the room alone.

“You’ve got to get in the bath, we’ve got to brush your teeth, and we’ve got to get ready because we’re really really late” = Play time!

“Share” = Gimme!

“Your bed time is 8:30” = Tell me the bed time of everyone of your friends in your grade? And start with the ones who are allowed to stay up all night.

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