Being a husband means…

…Shamelessly holding her pocketbook in public places while she tries something on.

…Redecorating your living room. For no apparent reason.

…Being told that your favorite outfit doesn’t actually match. Not even close.

Surprise footrubs. And by surprise footrubs I mean, all of a sudden like she plops her dogs on your lap and complains how much they hurt. You get the subtle hint.

…Not being surprised when she asks, “Wait, haven’t you seen this John Wayne movie before?”

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