Patrick is right now sitting in a tree in the middle of the woods right now waiting for some dopey deer to come within a few yards of him so he can put an arrow into its vitals.
So in honor of the beginning of hunting season let’s remember what we’re fighting for. Before you go feeling sorry for the deer, just remember they started it with this vicious attack. Watch this vid. Remember, if the deer had half a chance they’d kill you right where you stood. Skateboard or not.
Oh. The Obama administration has issued a statement saying that this deer was not acting in a premeditated manner. The deer had just seen “The Deer Hunter” and was outraged and acted in an unpremeditated violent way. No word yet on whether Robert Deniro will be arrested for inciting the deer to violence with the film.
October 2, 2012 at 2:09 pm
As long as Patrick isn't hunting on skateboard, he should be okay.
October 2, 2012 at 3:06 pm
I've had two cars smashed by deer. Avenge us, Patrick!
October 2, 2012 at 10:04 pm
What's with the Robin Hood thing? The Chinese have invented gunpowder, after all, and the British invented my beautiful old 1905 Lee-Enfield.
October 3, 2012 at 12:47 am
The French and the Germans actually invented the two notable features of the Lee-Enfield, smokeless powder and pointed ("Spitzer") rounds. I think Austrians invented its magazine, and bolt-action was invented by the German gunsmith Von Dreyse, of Needle Rifle fame.
But yeah, seriously, bowhunting? Get with the 15th century, son, we've got guns now. Why not just chase the deer down with a spear, while you're at it?
October 3, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Mack and Sophia–the answer, I think, is really easy: bowhunting season starts before rifle season. And some of us just think that the sooner the deer hunting starts, the better. After consuming every last struggling plant we spent months feeding and watering over the summer, they brazenly graze in our yard and leave calling cards on the occasions when they feel possessed to graze after dark, just so we'll know they've been there.