Patrick is right now sitting in a tree in the middle of the woods right now waiting for some dopey deer to come within a few yards of him so he can put an arrow into its vitals.

So in honor of the beginning of hunting season let’s remember what we’re fighting for. Before you go feeling sorry for the deer, just remember they started it with this vicious attack. Watch this vid. Remember, if the deer had half a chance they’d kill you right where you stood. Skateboard or not.

Oh. The Obama administration has issued a statement saying that this deer was not acting in a premeditated manner. The deer had just seen “The Deer Hunter” and was outraged and acted in an unpremeditated violent way. No word yet on whether Robert Deniro will be arrested for inciting the deer to violence with the film.

*subhead*They drew first blood.*subhead*