Here’s my definition of a terrible parent: When you have a ten year old kid who has night vision goggles.
Here’s my definition of the worst parent ever: You have a kid who actually has night vision goggles, has forgotten he has them, and then asks his father for a pair of night vision goggles.

Sadly, this just happened to me. Mind you, these are not military grade night vision goggles. They’re $12.99 and they make everything slightly less dark and very green. But still. I think my definitions are accurate.

Here’s my definition of a dumb kid: A kid who’s running around with night vision goggles on in the middle of the day.

Yeah, that just happened too.

Things are going real well over here.