I am a fan of Catholics returning to Mass for Christmas and Easter. It’s like a gateway drug but in a good way. Sometimes people return from years of being away. I must admit I did giggle to hear one guy this year still saying, “And also with you.”

So I’m all down with the prodigal son thing. Like I said, Christ rising from the dead is great. I’m a big supporter. But the day was not without its problems.

Look. I go to daily mass. My family and I are in the same pew every Sunday. And then comes Easter and I have to fight for my pew.

So I have me, my wife and five kids. That’s seven. And then my sister in law and her husband and three kids are showing up. OK. Thats a whole pew necessary.

So I’m all ready Easter morning. I’m dressed up, ready to stake my claim in my pew like a pioneer heading out west. But I have a wife and four daughters who aren’t ready. My son was ready but he had to take the dog out before Mass. So I show up half an hour early for Mass alone and someone is in my pew. Someone I’ve never seen before. And I’m glad that someone I’ve never seen in Mass is at mass. You see. I’m not unreasonable.

I adapt. I move two pews up. And I stake my claim. But the truth is that you only own what you can defend. When people started showing up I had to defend the entire pew from both sides. I’m fighting a two front war over here. Hitler made that mistake and paid a price for it. I mean, Hitler obviously made many other mistakes but that was a big one. (Not the biggest, to be clear.)

Anyway, at this point every Mass attendee is a threat. And I have to inform them that this pew is taken. I’m fending people off and praying that my family shows up but of course, they don’t show up until just before Mass. I’m making enemies out here shooing away families and the Church is filling up.

So I’m shooing away this beautiful family of four when on the other side of the pew this old lady with a walker seats herself in my pew. So what do I do? An old lady with a walker? What am I like the evil landlord of the pew?

What to do?

So I’m looking up at Jesus on the cross above the altar. I’m staring at the tabernacle. Would Jesus want me to shoo away the old lady with the walker?

So I don’t tell her to move. My family and my sister in law’s family arrives and the 12 of us are scrunched up against the old lady with the walker. Everyone’s looking at me like I failed to save the pew. They’re giving me the “you had one job” look.

But I know I did my best. I’m past the great Easter failure of 2025and I’m focused on the resurrection and forgiveness. But then something happened. At communion time the old lady stands up and walks up without the walker. So either I just witnessed an easter miracle or I got played.

So yeah, Easter wasn’t easy but I think we all learned something. Matt can’t save the pew. But when Matt gets old he’s got a helluva’ trick to get in a crowded pew.