Todd Starnes is reporting that the Royal Ballet School has announced plans to employ more plus-sized ballerinas.

“Audiences want dancers they can relate to,” artistic director Iain Mackay told the London Times, when asked whether this included plus-sized ballerinas on main stages. “Absolutely … I think this is already happening. They have been required to be more physical than ever before. Dancers that can tell a story, but dancers that are incredibly capable technically.”

I’m thinking they should also hire more floor repair people.

When people go to the ballet they want…well technically I have no idea what they want because I’ve never been to the ballet. One time my sister had a dance recital and there may have been some ballet there but it just looked like my sister and her friends walking around on the stage dressed in pink. But I would assume that when people go to the ballet they want to see something breathtaking, something they themselves couldn’t do.

But maybe this is my way in. Maybe I should show up to the next audition. I’m definitely relatable. This is my big break. I do feel a little bad about the poor dude who has to catch me but hey, that’s the price of inclusivity.