Please. Won’t you take a moment of your time to say a little prayer or donate some of your hard earned money to help the metaphor and simile disabled.

They walk among us. They even graduate from top ivy league schools and get nominated by the President to high ranking positions. For just pennies a day you can help someone who is unable to construct a metaphor or simile that isn’t laughed at by anyone with a third grade education.

Catholic Jedi Academy has a quote by Obama Justice Department nominee Dawn Johnsen that compares unintentionally pregnant women with victims of drunk drivers.

‘Cause you know, they’re the same.

Jedi writes:

There is so much mind numbing health care and budget shenanigans coming out of Washington, that very troublesome changes and appointments are happening without so much as a blip on the radar screen. Case in point is the looming appointment of Dawn Johnsen as head of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel (OLC). Ms. Johnson, an Ivy educated, ACLU trained big time liberal lawyer, espouses such positions as comparing pregnancy to slavery.

Andy McCarthy, a former US attorney and contributor to National Review Online, has a frightening expose of Dawn Johnsen’s opinions at the NRO site. Here’s part of McCarthy’s analysis of Ms. Johnsen’s view of unintended pregnancies:

On abortion and other issues dear to the Left, she is nothing short of a zealot. She insisted that, without government-provided abortion counseling, a large number of women would be left without “proper information about contraception.” This, she claimed, would mean they “cannot be said to have a meaningful opportunity to avoid pregnancy.” The usual rejoinder to such reasoning is that nobody is forcing these women to have sex. Johnsen sees it differently, writing that these “losers in the contraceptive lottery no more ‘consent’ to pregnancy than pedestrians ‘consent’ to being struck by drunk drivers.”

Here’s the thing. Dawn Johnsen clearly suffers from “similidiocy” whose victims are often referred to as “metaphools.”

With some patient tutoring even Dawn Johnsen will realize how stupid of a metaphor that really is. Hopefully one day Dawn will realize that an unintentionally pregnant mother, who is considering aborting an unwanted child, would be more like the drunk driver in this scenario rather than the innocent victim?

We’ve all seen drunks get behind the wheel and when they hurt themselves, get arrested or hurt others everyone says they knew it was only a matter of time that if you partake in a dangerous behavior long enough there will be consequences. The only question is how the driver himself did not see this coming.

It’s a similar situation for women who don’t want to be mothers who have sex with someone they have no intention of starting a family with.

Both are somehow surprised at the consequence. Both wish the consequences to go away.
And both scenarios can end in the death of innocents.

Don’t despise Dawn Johnsen. She doesn’t know any better. Please help by donating to the Simile and Metaphor Fund. And maybe one day we’ll all stop laughing at this poor metaphool’s attempts to enlighten us.