Please. Won’t you take a moment of your time to say a little prayer or donate some of your hard earned money to help the metaphor and simile disabled.
They walk among us. They even graduate from top ivy league schools and get nominated by the President to high ranking positions. For just pennies a day you can help someone who is unable to construct a metaphor or simile that isn’t laughed at by anyone with a third grade education.
Catholic Jedi Academy has a quote by Obama Justice Department nominee Dawn Johnsen that compares unintentionally pregnant women with victims of drunk drivers.
‘Cause you know, they’re the same.
Jedi writes:
There is so much mind numbing health care and budget shenanigans coming out of Washington, that very troublesome changes and appointments are happening without so much as a blip on the radar screen. Case in point is the looming appointment of Dawn Johnsen as head of the Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel (OLC). Ms. Johnson, an Ivy educated, ACLU trained big time liberal lawyer, espouses such positions as comparing pregnancy to slavery.
Andy McCarthy, a former US attorney and contributor to National Review Online, has a frightening expose of Dawn Johnsen’s opinions at the NRO site. Here’s part of McCarthy’s analysis of Ms. Johnsen’s view of unintended pregnancies:
On abortion and other issues dear to the Left, she is nothing short of a zealot. She insisted that, without government-provided abortion counseling, a large number of women would be left without “proper information about contraception.” This, she claimed, would mean they “cannot be said to have a meaningful opportunity to avoid pregnancy.” The usual rejoinder to such reasoning is that nobody is forcing these women to have sex. Johnsen sees it differently, writing that these “losers in the contraceptive lottery no more ‘consent’ to pregnancy than pedestrians ‘consent’ to being struck by drunk drivers.”
Here’s the thing. Dawn Johnsen clearly suffers from “similidiocy” whose victims are often referred to as “metaphools.”
With some patient tutoring even Dawn Johnsen will realize how stupid of a metaphor that really is. Hopefully one day Dawn will realize that an unintentionally pregnant mother, who is considering aborting an unwanted child, would be more like the drunk driver in this scenario rather than the innocent victim?
We’ve all seen drunks get behind the wheel and when they hurt themselves, get arrested or hurt others everyone says they knew it was only a matter of time that if you partake in a dangerous behavior long enough there will be consequences. The only question is how the driver himself did not see this coming.
It’s a similar situation for women who don’t want to be mothers who have sex with someone they have no intention of starting a family with.
Both are somehow surprised at the consequence. Both wish the consequences to go away.
And both scenarios can end in the death of innocents.
Don’t despise Dawn Johnsen. She doesn’t know any better. Please help by donating to the Simile and Metaphor Fund. And maybe one day we’ll all stop laughing at this poor metaphool’s attempts to enlighten us.
March 10, 2010 at 5:14 am
Too funny and right on target. The lady may be named Dawn but it hasn't dawned on her yet that anybody with half a brain knows how to get contraception. The aisles are marked in the drug store with "family planning" signs. Besides, kids in middle and high school have been putting condoms on bananas now for two generations. None of the bananas ever get pregnant. As for the "contraceptive lottery" the real losers are the women who were indoctrinated, never got pregnant because they went on the pill at 14 but got aggressive breast cancer in their 20s and died before 35. Thanks, Dawn, for caring.
March 10, 2010 at 12:04 pm
Please, please don't post these things. Now I can't the visual out of my head: "There I was, walking down the street, late at night and BAM! I got pregnant!"
March 10, 2010 at 1:10 pm
Take your correction one step further: "… an unintentionally pregnant mother, who is considering aborting an unwanted child, would be more like the drunk driver …" considering finishing off the pedestrian that survived 'the accident.'
March 10, 2010 at 4:00 pm
Chrysostomos, that was exactly the analogy I thought of. Johnsen's words are a disgrace to all those who are mourning the loss of a loved one at the hands of a drunk driver.
My sister had a friend killed by a drunk driver a little over a year ago. He was at her birthday party at her apartment and wanted to leave, but they saw he was in no condition to drive and took his keys. He then insisted on walking home (a distance of about 5 miles), they were able to keep him there for a little while but when he had a chance he bolted for the door before anyone could stop him. On the way home he was struck and killed by a hit and run driver, who later discovered from evidence on the scene to be a drunk driver who had already lost his license in the past for drunk driving. The event still haunts my sister.
Anyone who has lost a loved one due to a drunk driver knows how repulsive Johnsen's analogy is.
March 10, 2010 at 5:02 pm
It's not just the metaphorically challenged messenger, it's the guy at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue who is foisting the cast of America's own Monty Python 2010 on the rest of us. Then again, not too many people can do his great trick of speaking out of both sides of his mouth at the same time.
March 10, 2010 at 5:02 pm
The only way pregnant women could be akin to pedestrians struck by drunk drivers is if they all went and played in rush hour traffic with their eyes closed – specifically because drunk drivers had convinced them that it was perfectly safe out there, nobody should force them to stay on the sidewalk and look both ways, and heck, you're gonna be outside anyway!
March 10, 2010 at 6:45 pm
You should call this "Operation Simile". Because Operation Similie is LIKE Operation Smile, they both just want to make people smile.
March 10, 2010 at 6:50 pm
And don't forget the "Metaphorically Challenged" Barbara Fleischauer of the West Virginia House who said showing unintentionally pregnant women ultrasounds of their unborn children was like rubbing your child's nose in poop as a method of potty training.
March 11, 2010 at 10:30 pm
This cloud has a bright silver lining. However crudely we view the metaphor, it accurately portrays artificial contraception as a lottery (though I believe it to be closer to Russian roulette minus the negative stigma associated with becoming pregnant). If you believe Alan Guttmacher Institute statistics, over 50% (more than half for the arithmetically challenged 😉 of women who procure abortions regularly use artificial contraception. ArtiContra gurus would have us believe these techniques are way more effective (when applied correctly & diligently, of course!), yet so few seem willing or able to "correctly" use (go figure). Oh yeah, I forgot; they're not properly educated early enough, which is where "comprehensive" sex education (starting in grade school) begins!