In what will surely become one of the most infamous comments ever made about abortion, Rep. Gwen Moore of Wisconsin said yesterday that it is better to have an abortion than make a child be forced to live “eating Ramen noodles” and “mayonnaise sandwiches.”
So the CMR Institute for Advanced Suicidal Studies is now endorsing a plan for the government to poison all stocks of Ramen noodles so that the poor souls eating Ramen Noodles will find a merciful and quick end to their miserable existence.
CMR is calling this new form of euthanasia via noodles “THE EUTHANOODLE.” (Patent pending)
The way CMR and Gwen Moore see it is we’re doing them a favor because they don’t even realize that their lives aren’t worth living. The poor dears are so ignorant and clearly don’t make enough money that we can even hand out Ramen noodles for free to people who look like Ramen noodle people, if you know what I mean. That way we can feel good about ourselves for our charity and they can feel…dead.
Hopefully CMR’s endorsement of the euthanoodle will encourage others to have Ramen Noodle Parties where they’d invite the people they suspect of being miserable or living lives not worth living. Or if someone you know sometimes struggles at the end of a paycheck to feed their children, make it a EUTHANOODLE night.
Remember, they’re better off dead than eating oriental pasta.
Come on America, let’s EUTHANOODLE our way back to prosperity by ridding ourselves of anyone who might go hungry.